Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Remembering HIM

He had never touched her in anger, but his words were like fists. Daily, hourly, minutely, he pummeled her with threats, reminded her that he held the key to her happiness and her very survival.

The words.

They cut. They burn. They destroy.

Crazy. Liar. Cheat.

And the worst: I'll take your children away.

He knew the exact words to say to strike fear in her heart.

He knew the exact words to drive a wedge -- no, more like a brick wall -- between her and her family. Between her and her friends.

He knew the exact words to isolate and alienate.

She was alone. And she was the only one standing between him and her children. She knew what she had to do to save them all.

Day by day, brick by brick, she shored up her defenses, building a wall around her heart to keep his words at bay, strengthening herself to protect the little ones.

Until the day she stood up and looked him in the eye. That was the day he put his hands on her and shoved. The day she flew 15 feet through the air, through the kitchen doorway. The day the police came and escorted him from her house. She was cut and bruised, but she was free.

Today, though, she wonders how she could have lived like that. Today, she remembers how cruel he was. Today, she remembers how many nights she dreamed that he had come back from the dead -- nightmares that left her slick with sweat. Today, she remembers he really can't hurt her anymore. Today, she offers a prayer for others to find the release from their tormentors.

Today, she offers words. But only words of healing.

To give and get help

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. You made me relive my ex-boyfriend. I can relate. He destroyed my life and my kids. He too was escorted by the police more than once.I have healed and now have the most kind, considerate and romantic guy who wishes my kids were his own. Good things come to those who deserve it. God Bless You
Kim

melodyann said...

Janet, reading this brings home to me my own fucking nightmare. I'm so glad you're out of it...

janet said...

thank you for your kind word. some people have been having problems with comments. if you have tried to comment and can't, please email me at jsongbird4(at)aol.com

thanks...

Tink said...

Beautiful post. I think you speak to all women with this one. Because who hasn't put up with abuse? I have yet to meet a woman that can say, "Not me."

Karly said...

Janet, this was...well, I don't know what the right word would be. But, I think I held my breath through most of it. I'm glad you managed to get away from him.

Phoenix said...

Dam that was powerful. What a hard thing to have to live through. Whoever she is, she's an amazing woman. A true survivor.

cate said...

i'm speechless...i have experienced abuse in a relationship during my college years...but nothing like this. you are an amazing woman. i wish i had seen this post when you first wrote it...

Blue Momma said...

You made it through it and out of it. You rock, chicka!

Janet said...

My second ex-husband was like that. Glad you got out!

HRH said...

I am so glad that is over.

HRH said...

I am so glad that is over.

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