... the temperature outside is the same as the temperature inside, even though your air conditioning is going full blast.
... the ants go marching one by one. (Not hardly. Try 100 by 100. Gag, I hate ants.)
... your daughter knocks on your door (when you're freshly showered and naked!) with a "critical" question, and it's this: "Which necklace will look better with this outfit for school pictures?"
... your oldest son sends you a joke email, and within 90 seconds, your father sends you the exact same one.
... you have continuing "comment wars" on two other blogs. (You just KNOW we're messing up everyone's stats with all this refreshing...)
... Apple lowers the price dramatically on the iPhone and you obsess endlessly about how soon you can get away with replacing your relatively new super-duper pda'ish phone. (Or maybe you should get the iPod Touch instead ... but wait, don't you already have a 30-gig iPod?)
... you seriously set your alarm for 5:30 a.m. so you can call the college boy to make sure he is up so he makes it to class on time. (He was criminally late on his first day of culinary school. Oh, man. When will he grow up? When will you let him? When will you stop using italics?)
... you realize you promised him that you wouldn't tell anyone he was late, and all you did was tell the internet.
... your son burns his schnitzel. (Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. He burned the veal cordon bleu, too!)