Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Exercising my good judgment


Ouchie. Oooh. Owies.


I hurt all over. I hurt in places I forgot (or never knew) I had.

Please kill me now. It would be the kindest thing to do.

Here's how this went:

On Sunday, I got a bug up my ass about getting OFF my ass.

That ass, though greatly appreciated and truly loved by Wonderhubby, has gotten progressively wider and has been joined by Fred and Ethel Backfat. No one invited those two, and I'm not gonna allow them to camp out in my mirror.

Before last December (that's 2006, people), I was at Curves for almost three years, including two years as an instructor. A fitness instructor!!!

Seriously. I worked this as a second (early-morning) job to pay for Roo-girl's bat mitzvah, and I was toned, man.

Then I messed up my back. Not the way I had previously messed up my knee (which was, ahem, from global positioning during ... um ... yeah, that). It was some sort of disk'ish problem that was kinda sorta diagnosed by a doctor, who gave me the following options for physical therapy:

1) Swim

2) Water aerobics

3) Walk in water.

4) Walk, period.

Notice a theme here? Yeah. So I went on a hunt for a gym with an indoor pool because swimming outside? in January? Not so much.

So I swam. I swam almost every freakin' morning at 5:15 a.m. (yes, A.M.) and then trouped over to my job at Curves to open and hang there for an hour or so, and then go to my real 40-hour-plus-a-week job. The one that pays the bills and allowed me to join a pricey club with an indoor pool.

Then Curves and I parted amicable company, and I got lazy.

After all those early, early mornings, it became too easy to lie in bed and read blogs until 8 a.m., and get up in time to jump in the shower, take Roo-girl to school before 9 and still be at work by 9:30.

And lazy + eggnog lattes = fat.

Just in case you didn't know.

I understand that fat is relative. We don't need to get into a philosophical discussion about what you consider fat and YOU consider fat and I consider fat. It's actually more about how you feel. And I feel fat.

So let us just agree to disagree. Plus I am, in actuality, heavier than I have ever been, except while pregnant, and I'm closing in on that, too.

Anyway, I have been going to a Saturday water aerobics class religiously for months (in place of multiple swim days ... one class a week + eggnog lattes = still fat).

But in a fit of -- oh, I don't know -- FATNESS? I sought out an low-impact aerobics/body sculpting class on Sunday morning.

Low-impact, my ass.

It was 45 minutes of high-energy, "you-can-do-it-honey," mind-blowing, ass-kicking jogs, jumps, slides, bounces and God-knows-what-all.

Followed by 45 minutes of weights.


I can tell you that those 5-pound thingies in my hands were not the only dumbbells in the room.

I am insane.

And I cannot move. At all.

A hot shower helped. So did 800 mg of ibuprofen -- which I reduced to 600 at a time today but am thinking that it's not enough.

Because, people! I hurt!

But I am nothing if not persevering.

I plan to be in the pool in the early moments of this fine morning.

And next Sunday, I'm going back for more torture.



Jenni said...

Wow! Now I feel *really* lazy. And fat. Okay, I know I'm not *fat*, but what are these rolls? What is this with how my thighs are beginning to brush together just a bit more when I walk? And the little flabby bits that don't look so hot with a tank top? And the slight extra padding on the lower back? Ick. My weight is very slowly and steadily creeping upward, and while I'm not fat, I feel plump and out of shape and just not good about myself. So, I know what you're saying. And I need to do something about it. Too bad typing doesn't burn more calories.

Now I'm curious about this bat mitzvah stuff. You said you got a part time job to help pay for it, so I'm thinking these things are pretty huge. I'd love to hear more about this tradition since I just know the very basics of it.

I find these little insights into culture fasciniating. I'd heard of quinceneras before, but a couple of the guys Danny works with were describing what they did for their daughters and I was amazed. That's a much bigger deal than I'd imagined, too. They say it's bigger than a wedding because you only turn 15 once, but you may get married more than once. They said they spent about a fourth of a year's income on the celebration.

Tink said...

Hoop just bought a used Bowflex and an Ab Lounge. The Ab Lounge is for me, since the Bowflex just looks complicated and scary. LOL. I want to start jogging in the morning. But then I would have to get up at 5am. Well... Let's just say I'm NOT an early morning person like you. I eat people's heads for breakfast and I ENJOY it. Rar.


Dang, girl...wish I had your commitment and motivation..I too need to join a gym, get off my lazy ass and lose some weight...I need to lose about 20 lbs....but, with my schedule and with my hubby working 3rd shift, I don't know when I could find the time....but, I know I need to make the time...in the warmer months...I try and walk after dinner, for a couple or three miles....I need to join somewhere that has childcare...then I could take the kids with me....Good luck to you!

Kathryn said...

It's a good kind of hurt though, isn't it? I always liked sore muscles after a workout cuz it made me feel like I actually did something. A few months ago when I started running again I could barely get out of bed after my first run. I feel your pain, but way to get back on the horse!

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

You GO girl! That's how you give Fred & Ethel Backfat their eviction notices!

I'm so impressed!

Sauntering Soul said...

Good for you! And here I was just thinking about calling and canceling my gym membership since I've been paying for it and haven't been in....er....longer than I'm going to admit here.

~JJ! said...


You'll get back into it.

Don't give up...

feel the burn!!!!!

mama speak said...

I'm impressed by your committment, but dude! Maybe you should take it a little slower. With your back and all, I'm just saying. I slipped a disk X-mas before last & ended up having 3 shots into my spine before I got any relief. Your back is nothing to mess around with, trust me on this. Mine won't go away because I have a 20MO that that I insist on doing things like carrying up & down the stairs & such. Those kids and their needs! ;-)

Just saying, take it a little slower, don't re-injure yourself.

Kaytabug said...

LOL this was awesome post!!
I too was just thinking about posting abou my new found back fat!
I give you a HUGE high 5! I do miss how I felt after a good workout, feel the burn baby!!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

If only Lotus knew what she started with the backfat post!

I am SOO proud of you!! Yay Janet. I'm seriously joining the gym on Thursday and getting my backfat and ass back into shape, too.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Oh. And. Damn. You whacked out your knees from Kama Sutra moves? Damn woman. First Buzz. Now this. I am blushing.

Simply Jenn said...

youch. I'm not quite there with you yet because I have all this healing to do, but I will be. And I can pretty much guarantee I'll be whiny and more vocal than you! Good for you for starting!

Canadian flake said...

wow wtg congrats..keep up the good work!!

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