Drama King: Mom? I don't want to freak you out, but ...
Mother: *fighting an instant adrenaline rush* What's wrong?
Mother: *dying a million deaths*
DK: Well ... Did you get a collect call from lockup?
Mother: Did I WHAT?????????
DK: Well, um, I did. But I pushed the wrong button and disconnected it by accident. Have you gotten one?
Mother: *exhaling slowly* Uh, noooooooooooooo.
DK: Well, have you talked to Drummer Man?
Mother: *not breathing* Noooooo.
DK: I tried his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail.
Mother: *trying to swallow what little spit is in her mouth* He should be at work.
DK: Yeah, that's what I thought. But ... *pause* and I would think he would call you first anyway.
Mother: Unless he wouldn't ...
DK: Well, yeah, there's that. But I can't think who would call me to bail them out. I mean, seriously!!
Mother: Yes, I realize that, too. Let me know if you hear from him. I will try him too, and we'll meet in the middle.
Mother frantically pushes cell phone keys...
Drummer Man: Hello?
Mother: Oh thank GOD!
Now, please note that, in my heart of hearts, I KNEW that Drummer Man could not have been in lockup, needing bail. On the other hand, several of Drama King's friends could have been.
But seriously, people. Never ever start out a conversation with "I don't want to freak you out, but ..."
Because I will. This sort of thing could kill me or something.
(And to all my blog buddies who are living through the trials and tribulations of infancy and toddlerhood ... I can only shake my head and say, "Just wait, my friends!")