Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Why my hair is prematurely gray ...

*brrrrrrrrrnnnng*

Mother: Hello?

Drama King: Mom? I don't want to freak you out, but ...

Mother: *fighting an instant adrenaline rush* What's wrong?

DK: Um...

Mother: *dying a million deaths*

DK: Well ... Did you get a collect call from lockup?

Mother: Did I WHAT?????????

DK: Well, um, I did. But I pushed the wrong button and disconnected it by accident. Have you gotten one?

Mother: *exhaling slowly* Uh, noooooooooooooo.

DK: Well, have you talked to Drummer Man?

Mother: *not breathing* Noooooo.

DK: I tried his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail.

Mother: *trying to swallow what little spit is in her mouth* He should be at work.

DK: Yeah, that's what I thought. But ... *pause* and I would think he would call you first anyway.

Mother: Unless he wouldn't ...

DK: Well, yeah, there's that. But I can't think who would call me to bail them out. I mean, seriously!!

Mother: Yes, I realize that, too. Let me know if you hear from him. I will try him too, and we'll meet in the middle.

DK: OK.

*click*

Mother frantically pushes cell phone keys...

*brrrnnnnnnnng*

Drummer Man: Hello?

Mother: Oh thank GOD!

Now, please note that, in my heart of hearts, I KNEW that Drummer Man could not have been in lockup, needing bail. On the other hand, several of Drama King's friends could have been.

But seriously, people. Never ever start out a conversation with "I don't want to freak you out, but ..."

Because I will. This sort of thing could kill me or something.

(And to all my blog buddies who are living through the trials and tribulations of infancy and toddlerhood ... I can only shake my head and say, "Just wait, my friends!")

15 comments:

~JJ! said...

I don't wanna freak you out but...


Ha! Only kidding....

Burfica said...

OH man yeah i would have been real upset.

I once did a boo boo, and when a parrot that my sister had owned for two years then it went to my mom for 8 years, then I took it cuz my mom couldn't any more. We had this thing trained so nice, and he up and died on us.

I was sure sister and mom would kill me. So..I call and say (as I'm crying) there is no easy way to say this so I just will.

yeah they both thought something bad had happened to someone, and yelled at me later. lol

Linda said...

...yeah, all you mommy bloggers - just you wait, til those toddlers start to drive....

Great post!

Canadian flake said...

omg tooooooo funny..I know it wasn't funny at the time but the way you tell it now is hilarious..lmao.

I often say the same thing, people who have toddlers...I tell them "just waittttttttttt..."

lmao thanks for the giggles...lol

Robinella said...

**exhale** (me, not you) Yep, I don't look forward to the future with boys!..

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

So did we ever figure out who it was? Drama King really does know how to say the exact wrong things doesn't he?

Karly said...

Oh dear God. That reminds me of my "boyfriend" when I was in high school. He was in prison. For what I do not know. He used to send me letters that I could not even read because his spelling was so terrible. I mean I literally did not know what half of it meant. I could not figure it out. And then he'd call me collect and my parents would fuh-reak out and make me pay the bill. I was soooo dumb. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I shudder to think of what is going to happen when my children are in high school.

Crown Princess said...

OMG, this is priceless. I work as a jailer in the county jail and i love the phone calls home...."honey, bring 1000 dollars and meet me at the courthouse" LOL

Phoenix said...

And the words, I don't want to freak you out, mean please freak out.

My grandpa once got a call from a girl in prison with my name begging him to come and bail her out. He was really confused, because he had a grandaughter with my name....but I was 10 at the time and he couldn't figure out what I would have done.

Kathryn said...

Ok, but now you are freaking ME out! I have three boys. THREE! And my husband was a BIG trouble maker in his younger days. Ack!!! I'm scared.

nikki said...

My heart drops to my freaking knee caps when I get phone calls like that.

monkeysandmarbles said...

oh, i HATE when people start a sentence like that! my dad does that all the time, and i told him the next time he does it i'm going to beat him within an inch of his life!!!

the last time he did it, i had come home for Christmas break from University the night before. he came into my room at 8am, woke me up and said "Don't freak out, but your mom's in the hospital!", and then left the room. he LEFT. THE. ROOM! with no explanation!!!

thankfully, she had broken her arm from falling on ice in the parking lot at work....not anything more serious!!!

Jenni said...

Yeah, but at least jailhouse conversations are ADULT conversations. There's something about baby talk all day long...

Simply Jenn said...

I miss toddlers. And babies. I thought they were a hard stage. Man did I EVER have my head in the clouds. I don't like phrases like that either, sometimes just the fact that the phone RINGS freaks me out.

Pamela said...

....how about a midnight phone ringing from the emergency vehicle that is at your daughters accident.

whew...

 
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