Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The answer to the burning questions that someone wanted to know ...

My friend -- oh, excuuuuuuse me, my BFF -- Miss Ann Thrope of Color Me ... Complicated wanted to play a game.

It's called "I ask the questions and YOU (meaning me) answer them."

I thought it was fitting to celebrate my 200th post with this special revelationary thing.


Well, you have to understand that Miss Ann? She can be a little scary sometimes. To let her arbitrarily pick three questions out of the air and then for me to HAVE to answer them -- that can be a little disconcerting.

But she is my BFF. And I had to trust that she wouldn't go TOO crazy on my ass ... and she did not disappoint. Her questions are actually very thoughtful, and as a result, I have thoughtful answers to celebrate this momentous blog milestone.

I am, however, going to cheat and flip the order of her questions.

So here we go:

2. Think back to your childhood: What is the WORST thing you can remember ever saying to your mother? What is the worst thing SHE ever said to you?

Um. My mom and I have had some interesting battles over the years. Mostly, I was a goody-two-shoes as a child and saved my rebellious years until I was adult -- when I was selecting a mate.

Regular readers know that my first two husbandish choices weren't so hotsy-totsy, and probably the worst thing I ever said to my mom took place during the years I was married to the Evil One Who Shall Not Be Named.

My only excuse is that I was totally under his spell and his abusive thumb, and things came out of my mouth that, today, I wouldn't recognize or accept as me.

To my abject and forever regret ... I told my mother to get out of my house.

And I am ashamed.

However, I did learn something from that experience. Despite my despicable behavior during those years, my mother still loves me and speaks to me (though this does not stop her from slamming it in my face when things get tense). I marvel about this every day.

From her forgive-although-not-necessarily-forget example, I learned a valuable lesson and was able forgive my own child, who two years ago said something so unbelievably vile to me that I threw him out of my house on the spot. It was 9 p.m. on Christmas night when I slammed my front door behind him and, the next morning, changed the locks.

That child? My goofy Drama King, who has since come back into the fold as a sadder but wiser member of a close-knit family.

On the flip side, my mother (and my dad) have spent a lot of time berating me for being a crappy parent (um ... no -- but I guess they are entitled to their opinion). But the worst thing I can remember (and the fact that I remember every detail of something that happened almost 38 years to the day is testament to there being something here) is this:

I was waiting for college acceptance letters. I had applied to five schools. All of them good, but one of them amazing. Not Ivy League, but right up there, and hard as hell to get into.

The first four schools had already sent out letters (yes, I got into all four of them), and I was waiting for the fifth -- the special one.

And then, one day in April, after school, it was there.

I took it upstairs -- unopened -- to my bedroom, where I could open my precious mail without embarrassment.

I'm actually surprised that my shriek of excitement as I hurtled down the stairs, letter waving, doesn't echo until this day. Yeah, it was that loud and that hysterical.

"I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in I got in ..."

"Wow," said my biggest fan. "That must have been a fluke."

Uh, thanks for the buzz kill, Mom.

To this day, she SWEARS that wasn't what she meant. And probably I should get over it already. But ... that one hurt more than all the slams against my parenting skills put together.

Can't help it. It just did.

OK, moving on ...

3. I know you don't especially like cooking. Tell me something that you completely RUINED. So badly that the dogs wouldn't even eat it?

Oh lordy, lordy.

Let's start with the fact that my dogs will eat ANYTHING, especially if it's NOT their dog food. They eat toys, chapstick, sticks, pillows, jackets, shoes ... so even one of my failures isn't likely to be turned down by the rat dogs.

Then let's add to that the fact that really? I don't cook that much anymore. We tend to fake it a lot. Plus Wonderhubby is really pretty self-sufficient in the kitchen and gets home waaaaaaaaaaaay before me. Gotta love a guy who can prepare dinner!

Which means, really, the opportunities for failure on my part? Not so much.

I did make a salmon dish recently that was not ruined, exactly, but just tasteless enough to have us all picking at it.

Just for the record, the dogs LOVED it.

Miss Ann's first but now final question is a four-parter and requires a post of its own because -- sheesh -- this one is longer than necessary already.

So ... to be continued.


Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Aaaahhh, it's the little things that crawl into our brains and fester, isn't it? The worst thing I remember my Dad ever saying wasn't actually to me, it was to a woman I did consulting work for and it was at my wedding.

Woman: That daughter of your really is just so smart and such a good worker.
Him: Yeah, she's manipulative all right.

Gee, thanks!

BTW, at our house, the Bulldog will eat anything. But the Lhasa, oh boy! does she have opinions. The running joke is that we should have her taste test all foods before we eat them. If she passes, we should pass.

Janet said...

I was a model child too. I didn't get rebellious per se, I just didn't grow a brain until I was well over 30. So the first marriage was not so good. And Mom isn't one to spout off. Our family doesn't talk to each other. Of course, Mom's on her third (widow then divorce, and if things keep going the way they are there may be another divorce soon - 75-year-old men with prostate problems are extra grumpy). The worst thing she ever said was when I was about 10 when my brother and sister were fighting and she said, "Janet, do me a favor and don't ever have any children." So I didn't for another 30 years. She denies all memory of this comment. Looking forward to question one.

Janet said...

Oh yeah, hubby does almost all the cooking here because I hate and despise it. I can do it but I don't like it. My worst failure was when I burned rice. How do you burn rice? And not once, but twice. The second pot went to hell too.

Judith Shakespeare said...

LOL. I "fake" cook a lot. You can full your Italian grandmother with a frozen lasagna and a bag salad as long as the bread is fresh. :)

As for parents and their kids/kids and their parents, I think that it's very unrealistic to think that "bad things" aren't said between the two. Just as I think that it's unrealistic to expect to never forgive them. But the whole "forgive but not forget" method? CLASSIC.

Mr Lady said...

I don't think I'd be brave enough to let Ms. Anne interview me. You gots some door-knockers down there, Janet.

Junebug said...

Many years ago, I made some buttermilk biscuits with baking soda instead of baking powder. Were they ever salty and hard as rocks? I threw them out into the pasture. My son reminds me of this occassionally.

Jenn said...

Hi Janet-
I'm new to your blog, and I loved this post! I am actually a decent cook, but rice and jello (go figure) are beyond me. I did make peach pancakes once that even the dogs turned down.

Janet said...

It's the ones we love the most that can wound us the easiest.

you can quote me on that...unless, of course, someone else said it first, which, come to think of it, they might have ;-)

Altho...a friend of mine recently called my favorite game, Apples to Apples, a juvenile game and I had to kick her to the curb.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Leave us hanging why don't you! Good Lordy wumman. Buzz killer....and not YOUR Buzz. Oh, hell. I'm stopping right there.

Huckdoll said...

The things moms and dads say to us stick with us for life. I've never been so hurt as the times my dad said certain things and I've never fully let go of it. To this day he will tell you he was just kidding, but I don't believe him. I love him to pieces and would never hold anything against him, but it's taught me to be really careful what I say to my kids and the attitude I have around them.

Sleeping Mommy said...

I too was a model child. The worst thing mom said to me "You are a follower not a leader" GRRR.

Dad? "If you don't learn to submit you will never find a man to marry you." I wasn't even a teenager yet the first time he said that to me.

I said a lot of things to my dad--most I can't remember. I'm not sure I ever said anything bad to my mom. She's one of those. I was (and still am) afraid to back talk her.


Anyway...I look forward to reading the rest of the questions she posed to you. :)

Burfica said...

wow those are some answers.

Two main things my mother said that I will never forget.

1. I wish every day you were more like your sister

2. If you were a boy we could have saved our marriage, we didn't even pick a girls name out, you were supposed to be a boy.

One thing my dad said I will never forget--oddly enough it's possitive not negative.

When I had my son him and my sister drove up to the hospital (mom was already there) They wanted him to go see the baby in the nursery, he said. I have to check on my baby before I can check on her baby and he came to my room and cried with me. yayyyyyyyyyyyyy

ahhhhhhhh I've burnt rice before too, that smell is so horrid!!!

Miss Ann Thrope said...

C'mon Mr. Lady! Let me interview you! you cowardly lion.....

Janet, you outdid yourself. I LOVED your answers!!!

Can't wait till tomorrow, dude.

Joy T. said...

To be continued? To be continued???!! Get back here!!

This Mom said...

Now I'm worried what my questions will be!

Great answers!

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