To all those who make me laugh every time you tell me you want me to be your mom or you hope you can parent like me:
No you don't.
Because I suck.
Totally. Completely. Utterly.
I made my Roo-girl cry on Friday. Because I was mad.
See Mommy be mad. Mad mommy mad.
She is gone for the weekend with her cheer team. She can't compete because of the broken arm and all, but she can help and support her team, and I let her go with Coach K. (You know, Coach K, the one who sucks -- though possibly not as much as I do.)
I asked only one thing of Roo for her driving journey.
I asked her to call me when she left home and to call me when they got to their destination.
She did neither.
I texted her at about 1 p.m., just to check. (Coach K is notorious for being late and flaky, so it wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility that she hadn't left yet.)
Oops, she texted back. "We left. Sorry I kinda forgot to call you."
I had a particularly lousy day at work and was busy fighting over territory. (What? Move my desk again? Um, no thanks.)
So it wasn't until I was on my way home that I realized it was almost 6:30 p.m. -- and I had not heard from Roo.
They were having a team dinner at 7, so I was pretty sure they had arrived.
So I called.
"Oops," she said. "I forgot again."
And I lost my shit.
Told her about trust.
Reminded her that I had not objected to the trip, but had only asked ONE THING.
And she had failed.
I told her that I would be reining in her freedom to go gallavanting off with Coach K, since she couldn't follow a simple request.
She burst into tears and said she was sorry.
And yet I didn't stop.
"I'm sorry" are just words, and trust is a difficult commodity to regain once lost, I told her.
She sobbed that my trust was the one thing she wanted above all.
And still I did not relent.
It was a simple thing I had asked. And she "forgot." Unacceptable, I said.
She cried harder, saying she was sorry.
And I hung up the phone.
You don't want to be like me.