Monday, May 12, 2008

Fun Monday: What a jerk! edition

Sauntering Soul is our lovely hostess for this week's odyssey into FunMondayosity (I am trying to compete with Kelley to see who can make up the best words).

Anyway, SS is feeling a little insecure about her inner jerk because she wants company in arsehatland (take that, Kelley!) by asking this:

I know we all try to be sweet and kind to people the majority of the time. But let's face it....we also know that sometimes we can be a big jerk. It could be that you experience road rage from time to time. Perhaps you empty the coffee pot at work some mornings and don't feel like taking the time to start a new pot for the next person. Or maybe you don't return phone calls on a timely basis when you know someone needs a response from you. Have you ever "accidentally" ruined a favorite shirt of your spouse just because you didn't care for it? Come on - it's confession time! List the small things you do that make you a jerk and elaborate just a bit on each one. Please tell me I'm not the only jerk around here!
Huh. I. Would. Never.

Well, I would too.

I admit to intentionally speeding up on the freeway so that someone who is trying to snoid into my lane can't do it (but only when that someone has been obnoxious first). And I am potty-mouth'ish about the whole thing, too. Road rage, anyone?

I admit to failing to push the "door open" button when a last-minute person is trying to get into the elevator. Ha! Gotcha!

I admit to a little passive-aggressive behavior at work with my boss. Because she. is. a. witch.

I admit to screening my phone calls (and not answering if I don't want to talk to you).

I also admit to making "blah-blah-blah" or "you really are a moron" faces while I'm on the phone if you really are being a moron. I would never make it if I had to use a videophone.

Sometimes, I am unintentionally a jerk. This was a prime example.

I hope you all feel better now, knowing what a total jerk I am.

So go visit the other Fun Mondayites and see what jerks they are. It would totally make me feel better about myself.

28 comments:

Kelley said...

I am never a jerk. I am always wonderful and RIGHT and everyone else is guilty of arsehattery (sorry babe, arsehatland just doesn't cut it) so I can't help you here.

If something happens to someone and I just happen to be there at the time, it is not jerkocity on my part (AWESOME WORD! TAKE THAT!) just karma...

Hootin' Anni said...

Yep, yep, yep....that phone call ID is super, I first of all don't like to talk on the phone.

Great Fun Monday

Sayre said...

I cannot live without caller ID. That way, if it's for my husband, I don't have to talk to his friends or his family - I can just hand him the phone and say "It's for you" without answering. Yeah. I'm a jerk.

ChrisB said...

We'll know what you are doing if we ever speak to you by phone LOL!!

My hubby always straddles the merging line to prevent cars racing up and getting into the single lane ahead of us~ I hate it!

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Boy. You are a jerkwad. HEe hee.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Faces on the phone...oh yeah! My classic is the forehead on desk losing the wil to live one. They are an art form. Be proud!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I may or may not be guilty of slowly depleting my husband's stock of t-shirts that he has been wearing since he was in high school. I also may or may not continue to let him look for a particular one that may or may not have been thrown away months ago.

nikki said...

I have totally done the phone thing. That's what makes those phone calls fun.

Sarah said...

I'm guilty of all but the call-screening because I have no caller ID and my answering machine is in the garage (don't ask). Otherwise..yup, I'm a total jerk *G* I admit it willingly :D

LceeL said...

My wife has two different names for me. "Bub", when things are cool and she's feeling the love and just being 'groovy'. "Jerk" at almost all other times.

Karmyn R said...

okay - guilty of making faces while on the phone when someone is being an idiot or annoyingly stupid.

I don't have caller ID - but somedays I sure wish I did.

Burfica said...

I've never called my son a girl, but I have called both my son and husband dad before.

Jenni said...

I am a very nice and considerate driver, and when other people are dangerous jerks it results in a serious case of road rage full of cussing and lovely gestures. If other people's children are in the car, I try to tone it down, but mine know me. And they're mine so I can ruin them if I want, okay?

However, I did feel like a major jerk one time when a guy in a pickup was zigzagging in and out of traffic very dangerously and cut me off so close that it about scared the piss out of me. Naomi was in the front seat and it made me mad that he had put my (11yo) baby in danger. I yelled and cussed and gave him the finger along with several other gestures. Then I noticed the little guy in his passenger seat staring wide-eyed at me. Oops! Well, damn it, he was endangering that sweet little 5yo of his too!

Oh, and then this morning I made faces while talking on the phone to the middle school counselor and called her a twit after I hung up. She's probably a very nice lady. I don't know why she rubs me the wrong way. I'm not so judgemental without cause often, but clearly I need to work on that some more. For Pete's sake, she didn't even say or do anything wrong. I think it's her overly bubbly with a slight (affected I'm sure) lisp that makes me feel this way. Okay, Jenni. Stop. Just stop now. You're doing it again.

jennifer said...

I blah blah blah moron face too!

Love the word war!

Jennifer

Janet said...

I used to do the phone thing when I had caller ID. Although half the time I can't answer the phone because I'm in the middle of refereeing a catastrophe. I hate talking on the phone. I much prefer email. I always feel like I'm bothering people. NO ONE is sitting by the phone waiting for me to call.
I deliberately slow down if someone is tailgating me. Particularly if I was already speeding in the first place. But it's really not being a jerk, because I have a bumper sticker that says, "The closer you get, the slower I go." So it's just fair warning, really.

storyteller said...

Ah … although it didn’t occur to me this morning, I have to admit I screen my calls now that I have ‘caller ID’ …(a relatively new feature for me that I’m wondering why I didn’t seek out sooner). So I assume your boss doesn’t read your blog, right? I’ve shared poetically at Small Reflections because it was the only way I could.
Hugs and blessings,

MamaGeek said...

If YOU'RE a jerk, I'm a size 0! :) And I could NEVER EVER live with caller id (and VOIP I might add)!

lisa marie said...

I do some of thoe things too, maybe I should add to my list. :) I admit to making the gesture with my hand, the yakkity-yak one and rolling my eyes when hubby's waiting for me to get off the phone sometiems. :_)

Faye said...

The reason your son carried a grudge about your forgetting the volunteer appreciation lunch was the place it was held--after all, doesn't Paris Hilton enjoy an In and Out Burger? Hopefully he got to attend without you. Grin. . .

IamwhoIam said...

Well that was a fandamtablous post if I ever read one. Now I know why you never answer my call. LOL

Mariposa said...

Wow, I also screen my calls! LOL And that tongue?! Ha! I think we share the same genes as far as that is concern...and at any time, we can be all jerk unintentionally! LOL

So enjoyed your post! Happy Fun Monday!

Janet said...

It's all your fault, I screen my phone calls...

Gwen Stefani's voice is running through my head now. And, yes, i screen. I can be a jerk. Want to make something of it? ;)

dawn224 said...

aaaand think I'm caught up!

Celeste said...

OK, folks...when did screening phone calls means someone is a jerk? I consider it privacy protection.

Sauntering Soul said...

I make all kinds of blah blah blah faces when I'm on the phone. Is it bad I make them when I'm home alone and there's not even anyone around to see them? And I'm also the queen of eye rolling when I'm on the phone.

Nekked Lizards said...

so what kind of faces do you make when you blog?

Pamela said...

ME2 on the caller ID!!
If it is a toll free number of unavailable especially.

I've thought about trying to cut off the dumb drivers who keep swerving in and out of my lane. But, they probably don't have any more Insurance then they have sense.

Melanie said...

Isn't caller ID the best??

And definitley making faces- I do the same thing because I am very mature.

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