Just kill me now. It's so much kinder in the long run ...

My feet are bloody stumps.

That's because I spent Monday from 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. doing something that gives me the head-shakes.

S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G.

Now, I do like shopping. Really. I do. I swear.

But I do draw the line at six-hour-plus marathons at the mall with my daughter and my friend J and her daughter (and Roo's friend) A.

We have shopped marathonishly before. And that time, we literally had to buy shoes because all of us had rubbed our feet raw in the shoes we were wearing. (Oh, sure, we could have just gone home -- killjoy!)

Anyway.

So yeah. I should tell you that Roo has been on a mission. We have made at least two previous -- highly unsuccessful -- expeditions to other area malls with no luck.

She has been on the hunt for a dress. Oh but puh-lease. Not just any dress.

THE dress.

The dress for the eighth-grade graduation dance.

She has a definite vision in mind. She does not want to wear black. She does not want to wear white. She, in fact, wants a brightly colored dress. Not floor-length (FLOOR LENGTH?????). Not as long as to the knees -- after all she does have her dignity and reputation to think of.

You know the dress I mean. The perfect one.

The one that exists only in her vivid imagination.

And makes my eyes roll violently around in their sockets.

First, you need to understand that this very important graduation dance is exactly 1 1/2 hours long. Period.

AND I recently bought her a party dress for A's bat mitzvah next month. A goes to a different middle school, is in the seventh grade, has few to no mutual friends with Roo and not a single one of those kids would be at Roo's dance.

Anyone else see a problem here? Anyone else see a problem with the sobbing teen I drove home from the previous mall excursions because the perfect dress from her imagination does. not. exist?

Ah yes. Moving on.

So J, always one for a shopping excursion, suggested that we go looking for Roo's dress together ... at yet a THIRD mall.

Six and a half hours later, we were home.

We had a pair of Abercrombie shorts and a denim skirt. (On sale, please. I NEVER pay full price at Abercrombie -- it's against my religion.)

We had two new bras.

We had some Lancome makeup and an accompanying free tote (compliments of J, for Roo-girl's graduation).

We had a yellow zebra-print top. (Please don't ask.)

We had one pair of underwear (which happened to be in the high school's colors).

And.

We had a dress.

Thank the Lord. There now is a dress for the 90-minute graduation dance.

It's short enough (but not so short that I get the gags).

It's colorful enough (hot pink).

It gives her a shape (please hold me).

I am a slightly poorer mommy.

But Monday, we had success. She did not cry. There was lots of fun and laughter.

She is a happy Roo-girl.

And isn't that what friends are for?