Saturday, May 10, 2008

A period piece, or how we keep Aunt Flo at bay

When I hang out with Roo-girl on the weekends, there are always those moments when I think, "Omigod, this is the best blog fodder ever."

And then I come home and ... uh ... what was that she said again?

This one, though? This one I remember.

If you're male, this would be a good time to put your hands over your ears and eyes, and sing along with me: "La la la la la la la la la la."

Either that, or go hang out here. We'll let you know when it's safe to come back.

So, girls. Are we alone? Good. Here's the scoop.

Miss Roo-tini is, as we have discussed previously, quite petite -- and a late bloomer to boot. At going-on-14, she has not yet had the pleasure of becoming a "woman."

In plainspeak, she hasn't gotten her period yet, and for reasons that totally escape me, she is NOT PLEASED.

Especially when she found out that I was not 14, as she believed, but actually 15 when I "bloomed."

"Fifteen?????" she shrieked at me. "FIFTEEEEEEEEN??????"

Yes, dear. And you should be happy about that.

But she is clearly not.

"Everyone I know ..." she harumphed.

Dudette, I told her, don't be in such a hurry. It's an inconvenience and a pain in the butt that you will be dealing with for-freaking-ever. Long after you care about having babies and she has any use to you at all, Aunt Flo will be around to annoy you.

That doesn't matter to her, though. She feels deprived somehow.

"What about your friends?" I asked. "Don't they tell you the same thing?"

Roo looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," she said. "They all walk by me and scream in my face: 'I HATE YOU!' "

I could not speak for 15 minutes due to excessive laughter.

18 comments:

Kelley said...

bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaa! My girls hate her too!

It is the same with shaving legs and dying hair... they regret it all too soon.

karisma said...

Lucky Girl! Two of my poor girls were only 9, its way too young!

Janet said...

Yes, she's lucky. I was 13, but that was in an era when no one really discussed it (that whole Christian school influence that all bodily functions and anything remotely sexual was nasty and thereful sinful and couldn't be mentioned). I could cheerfully have put it off indefinitely. And I'll be glad to see it go.
I was in a musical called Quilters, and one of the scenes was 4 girls "coming of age." The one who got it first prayed to Jesus to make it go away. The one who was last (me) prayed for Jesus to bring it on! The grass is always greener .. .

Judith Shakespeare said...

LOL! I remember the days when I thought that tampons looked SO COOL. Of course, I had no idea what I was actually supposed to do with them... Sigh.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

15? Really? I hate YOU! So jealous.

Karen said...

I was 16. Seriously. And still managed to have children before menopause crept in.

My daughter? A week before her 13th. Scares the bejeezus out of me, really. And she's well aware that it's not all that. I've been preaching it to her for too many years.

Junebug said...

I was a late bloomer too at about 14. I'm not good at remembering things like that. It's still going strong at 50 though. :D

Sarah said...

LMAO!!

Gee, I wish it was 15...I was 11!! *sigh*

JaniceNW said...

I was 13 which was average age in the 70's. Now the average is 11 I believe. She should appreciate her lack of PMS and cramps! LOL.


Happy Mother's Day Janet!

Rebecca said...

Oh that is just too funny...

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

She really has no idea. I'm at a loss. I am nearly willing to get knocked up to keep her at bay.

Blue Momma said...

I so want a Roo Girl of my own to bitch about Aunt Flo with! Here I go, jealous again.

I think I was 11 when I had my first visit. The only thing that I worried about was telling my mother.

Now? After years of trying to get pregnant with no success (and no birth control pills) I just wish that bitch would go away and leave me alone! Come on menopause....

Melissa said...

You always want what you can't have...straight hair/curly hair, short/tall, boobs/no boobs.

Happy Mom's day! Hope your brood did something great for you.

Janet said...

I was a late bloomer as well. And, yes, I felt gyped. Did I spell gyped right? I'm too lazy to look it up. Then it came and I was all doubled over with wicked cramps and miserable and pimply. Good, good times.

dawn224 said...

oh she's awesome. she completely reminds me of my baby Kate. (which is huge praise)

Joy T. said...

I was 16 and both my girls were 16 too. They never complained though and yes, their friends hated them too LOL I'm absolutely amazed at how young girls are getting their periods nowadays. Our neice was 111 years old and it was pretty tough on her. Just much too young in my books.

Joy T. said...

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok obviously that was supposed to read ELEVEN years old. Not 111 years old. Oh lordy that is one old...well...lady.

Canadian flake said...

lmaooooooooo...

I have been sitting here catching up on everything I have missed while on blogging "hiatus" (aka trying to get my s*&t together..lol).

Was being quiet and not filling your comment box but haddddddd to say this made me giggle. My dear gremlin had the same problem and she hated it too. I think she felt left out when her friends had it and she didn't...she felt weird or something...

Now she is 16 and wishes she could go back ..lmao.

 
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