Tuesday, May 13, 2008

R.I.P. Carpool Girl

Well, it finally happened.

After eight months of aggravation, being stood up and lack of gratitude and grace -- and incredible patience on my part -- Carpool Girl stepped over the line.

We had set up a pretty doable protocol. Roo-girl calls between 8:15 and 8:35 a.m. to say we are on our way. The 20-minute window allows for days when she has to be at school early for pep squad practice or some other event. It also gives both of us leeway to run a smidge late in our morning ablutions. (I am trying to improve my vocabulary -- and yours! Take THAT, Kelley!)

If CPG does not answer the phone during that period of time, Roo leaves her a voicemail saying we have left without her. We do not pass her house, we do not collect $200.

Thursday, Roo makes the call and gets voicemail. Three times. The third time, she leaves the message.

Ten minutes later, as we pull onto the school property, the phone rings. It's CPG asking where we are.

"You didn't pick up," Roo informs her. "We are already at school."

Next day, her phone is OFF. Goes direct to voicemail. I have a moment of conscience (silly me), and we agree to drive by CPG's house and knock on the door.

No one answers.

Well, that's not strictly correct. CPG's sister eventually comes to the door -- and has NO CLUE where the girl is. She tells us to leave her.

I have a mild hissy in the car and tell Roo that we will not be taking CPG to school anymore. She has her own crisis of conscience (she does have to live with the girl at school, ya know), and we agree to do nothing and sleep on it over the weekend.

Apparently, though, Roo saw fit to read CPG the riot act at school on Friday, saying that I was mondo pissed-o (Kelley?) and that we probably won't take her to school anymore.

"Whatever," CPG told her in her usual graceless fashion. "I don't care."

Fast forward to this morning.

Roo-girl calls CPG and says we're on our way. CPG evidently snarks back. I don't hear what she says, but here is Roo-girl's half of the phone conversation:

"Whatever, CPG."


"Yes, but look at it from OUR point of view ..."


"Jeez, you don't have to be such a brat about it ... Fine, then."

She then turns to me and announces, "We're not taking her to school anymore. I think she was walking."

My answer?


I tried. I went out of my way. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I tried to teach by example. I tried to pay it forward for the times that my children were offered transportational favors without any ability on my part to return them.

But the CPG apple apparently didn't fall all that far from the tree.

And it is done.

Coming this week: Interplanetary children gather for Mother's Day. High-larity ensues. Film at 11.


Margaret said...

Dangit.... I really enjoyed stories with CPG.

Kelley said...

'mondo pissed-o' I like that one!

As for CPG I can't believe that you actually called her anyway! When I was doing it the kids either made their way to our place or had to be standing out the front of their house.

You are too nice.

swampy said...

"..I have a mild hissy..."
So glad you used these words correctly in conjunction with each other !
Everyone knows you HAVE a hissy fit.
You PITCH a coniption fit.

This is a 180 degree jerk story.

LceeL said...

What you must do, somewhere along the line, is teach Roo-girl of the value of a well placed, left jab.

nikki said...

It was good while it lasted CPG. Just like all my ex-boyfriends.

suchsimplepleasures said...

well,no more cpg stories but i'm SURE you'll find other stories to amuse us!!
can't wait for the mothers day hilarity!

Janet said...

My first comment was full of wit and pithosity (you're welcome), but blogger had a mild hissy and it didn't post. It basically was something to the effect of CPG qualifying for yesterday's post and she's going to have a hard time in life. You and Roo went above and beyond. MANY MANY TIMES. Do not feel quilty. Make that guilty. (Quilty: adj.; 1. snuggly and comfortable, 2. patched.)

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Rotten kid. You held on a lot longer than most of us would have.

My code word? Is UTERI. There's one for vocabulary enhancement.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

So long you ungrateful brat. What a waste of your $4 a gallon gas, Janet. And, she's so not worth it.

Burfica said...

It is sad when we try to help others to only have them stomp all over us.

I have a friend who is always helping her family in any and every way, and when she can't one time, they hollar and scream and accuse her. I hate people who take advantage.

Maybe later in life she will realize how good you guys were to her, but I wouldn't count on it. People like that think that life is out to get them.

Sarah said...

We will miss the CPG stories for sure...but I'm glad that Roo-Girl read her the riot act. It's too bad CPG could never learn grace and dignity!

Joy T. said...

I personally don't know how you held out this long. From the stories you have told about CPG, she is one pretty ungrateful child. I would say you get 14 million gold stars for trying though. And CPG gets a smack upside the head for letting a good thing get away.

Judith Shakespeare said...

I think that you handled it all beautifully... You held out long enough for Roo to learn that not to give-up on something right away, and then you squashed it when it needed to be squashed (and boy did she need to be squashed. Whatever, my ass.).

Walking is good for the soul... Please tell me she lives at least ten miles from school. :)

maggies mind said...

I, too, love the CPG stories and am sad to see them go, except that I thinks it's probably a very good thing. Y'all have more patience than most. And a helluva vocabulary, too!

Beckie said...

I think you went above and beyond on this one. I would have ditched the little brat long ago.

jennifer said...

I have a feeling we haven't heard the last from CPG.

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I dread the day this carpooling stuff begins for me.

Nicki said...

CPG sounds like a punk! Maybe when she's walking to school she'll have time to think about being a more gracious carpool girl next time!

Tink said...

I think you guys went above and beyond the call of decency. I'm just sorry the good intentions didn't "stick" with her.

Pamela said...

as if she was doing you the favor by allowing you to take her to school.
somehow I'm looking forward to another chapter of Carpool Girl.

(ps. it would make a wonderful book for kids learning about social etiquette.

Junebug said...

Not too many days left of school and maybe the weather will be nice for her walking. But oh if it pours cats and dogs! She'll be sorry.

HRH said...

You have been a study in longsufferingness with CPG. It has been a lot more fun for us on the sidelines then for you!

PS--I would go look that word up if I had the energy. Next time you get all fancy with the words could you tell me what they mean because I am just. that. lazy. K. thanks.

Janet said...

CPG sounds like a brat. R.I.P indeed.

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