Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm thinking perhaps I had taken leave of my senses

What was I thinking?

For all you who are t.i.r.e.d. of me going on and on about my baby growing up ... well, sorry. It's coming up again.

Long ago, in a universe far, far away, there was an 11-year-old girl starting middle school. She was old beyond her years.

No, that's not right. She BELIEVED she was older than she really was and wanted to grow up NOW. In fact, she thought that she should be entitled to rights and privileges beyond her years and was mighty might peeved that I seemed to not want her to grow up. (Me? Nah.)

Among the things she was haranguing me mercilessly about was dating.

"If someone were to ask me out on a date, could I go? And if not, WHEN will I be allowed to?"

Eeek, I thought. Here is an issue that, in all my years of parenting, had never really come up.

My boys weren't so much into dating (uh, Drama King? Hello??), and I had long ago proven myself to be a sexist pig anyway.

< digression >

Z-man was quite the ladies man in preschool and kindergarten. Girls liked him, and he liked 'em right back. In fact, he chased a little girl around the school on the night of his preschool graduation, seeking kisses. Soooooooooo cute.

So the day he came home from kindergarten and told me that he had kissed Katie, I was equally charmed. What a cutie that boy was!!

Fast forward five years to the Roo-girl's kindergarten class and the day that Corey kissed her in the sandbox.

WHAT???????????????????

The horror. The OUTRAGE. The conversations with the teacher ...

See? Sexist pig.

< /digression >

OK, where were we? Oh yeah. Dating. Sixth-graders. Uh, NO.

"But then WHEN??????" she demanded.

In a moment of panic, I threw out the same number that my girlfriend was using for her son.

"14."

I felt that was safe. She would be through with middle school and starting high school by that time. It satisfied her, and it was far far far away at the same time.

Silly me.

Now, I would have just continued in my blissfull ignorance but for the THING that happened Friday night while I was at karate belt-testing for J-bear.

I was sitting there minding my own bee's wax when I received a text message from Roo, who was at home, moping over her failed plans with her girlfriend.

"(Boy's name here) just invited me to go to the movies at the (mall she is never allowed to go to on Friday nights)."

Right then and there, at the karate studio, I gagged on my Chex Mix.

"That's a date," I texted back frantically.

Verbatim answer (spelling, punctuation and capitalization intact): "Dont worry mom i told him that i culdn't go cuz i dont hav a ride alrite?"

Whew. Bullet dodged.

However.

It's June now. Next month is July. Do you know what comes in July?

The Roo-girl's 14th birthday.

Uh-oh.

19 comments:

Mr Lady said...

I just gagged on your chex mix, too. And dude? I love it when you text type.

The Laundress~JJ! said...

Uhm, yeah. It's official.

You're screwed.

That's why my date age limit is 45.

HRH said...

OMG. Can you stop time?

nikki said...

Time to bring out the baseball bat.

Janet said...

My mother said 14 too, but I wasn't as pretty as Roo-girl and didn't get asked out until well beyond that age.
When the Queen hits about 11 or 12, the Mountain Man plans to grow his hair and beard even longer and greet any potential suitor at the door with his father's 22 to teach them the proper respect. I have chosen not to object to this plan.

That Chick Over There said...

Oh dear Lord. I can't even begin to think that far ahead now.

Bren said...

Oh man, I dread those years. 14 still seems so young and yet, it's not. *sigh*

Catwoman said...

Note to self: When question comes up with my kids, the only answer should be 79.

Marmarbug said...

ACK! Lock her up now!
Get a gun.
And a shovel.
Thank god I have a boy. But then I remember that if he ever does something nad to a girl then there will be one mad daddy coming to my door. In which case I will hand it all over to the hubby.

haha my word verification says jimbob.

Lynn - the piggy bank painter said...

I am here to say there is no stopping it....I tried. Hubby tried (he has guns). We even thought maybe Eowyn didn't like boys yet at 14. We would take her to friends houses, friends would come over here. And then suddenly the friends that came over to ur house were all BOYS. I hyperventilated and thanked God our house was a small ranch with bedrooms accessible from the hallway. Door was not allowed to be shut....and then....and then at Christmas, Eowyn had friends over, and suddenly had a boyfriend. OMG! The shock! The horror! When did this happen??? Our 14yo did like boys and had a boyfriend and we were completely clueless. So, there is nothing you can do to stop it. It is going to happen and all you can do is hope you don't look like a total moron when you find out. Or you can be a total moron in front of your daughter and her "friend". That may scare the "friend" off....good luck!

DIXIECHICK said...

Uh Oh is right. My oldest is working on his third "serious" girlfriend at the ripe "old" age of almost 18...I hate it. It never gets easier does it?

LceeL said...

I am so glad we had boys. So glad. All I ever had to worry about was ducking punches from a irate father.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Ut oh. Think maybe it's time to invest in the permit to carry concealed, no? And, maybe a target to get some practice.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Time to invest in a handgun, some target practice, and the license to carry concealed. Ut OH!

Kaytabug said...

This is why I am glad I do not have a girl. Still doesn't keep me from wishing I had one though. I know I don't make any sense...dating for boys is SO much different than dating for girls is. I am thankful.
I feel for you!!

Canadian flake said...

I am having the same problem in reverse...gremlin #2 starts high school in the fall and he is very immature for his age...I fear the sharks are gonna eat him alive.

hang in there

Robinella said...

Uh-oh is right!

Sorry, but glad I am not you right now! I need to ask my BFF when she is allowing her newly 13yo to date? So little time.

Junebug said...

Uh-oh.

Sandy C. said...

Oy. Girl...you. in. twubble.

You just totally put my fears of my daughter starting preschool into perspective.

 
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