Wednesday, June 25, 2008

School daze and new schedules and things that go bump in my orderly world

I don't like it.

No, I do not like it at all.

Tuesday was the first day of summer school. High school for the Roo-girl.

New morning schedule for the Evil Mother.

Can I stop the world now? Cuz seriously? I want to get off.

Here was my Tuesday:

6:00 a.m.: Wake up. (Noooooooooooooo!!!!)

6:01: Look longingly at laptop but know in my heart there isn't time.

6:02: Wake up the Roo-girl. (Yes, I am still her personal alarm clock.)

6:03: Give in to the lure of the laptop and check my mail.

6:20: Tear myself away from the laptop and take a shower. (Yes, I shower BEFORE I go to the gym. I don't have time after, and anyway, then it's clean sweat. Shut up.)

6:32: Turn off the shower. (I do enjoy my morning ablutions!)

6:32:30: Realize that although I washed my face and my hair (yes, BEFORE the gym -- I said SHUT UP!), I neglected to soap up with our lovely vanilla-scented body wash.

6:33: Turn water back on and REshower.

6:35: Turn off SECOND alarm and get dressed for the gym.

6:37: Hustle a slow-poking child along.

6:38: Feed medication-laden cheese to the rat dogs, who -- if they crap in the house again -- are going to be turned into some lovely boots for me. Their new names are Ugg 1 and Ugg 2.

6:45: Re-hustle pokey child, reminding her that a high school freshman is always prepared. (Oh, wait. That's the Boy Scouts. Never mind.)

6:46 to 7:00: Feed dogs, feed fish, look for lost keys, find lost keys, look for lost bluetooth, find lost bluetooth, remind Roo-girl to hurry up, ask three times if she has taken her meds.

7:01: Leave the house. Ask one more time if Roo has taken her meds.

7:02: Turn car around so she can take them for real this time.

7:02:30: Growl at child who thinks she is a grownup but can't remember to take morning meds.

7:06: Get out of the house for the final time, hoping there is time for a stop at Starbucks (NOT the one where they know her name and her drink).

7:11: Stopping. Starbucks. Yum. But not for me -- I'm exercising soon.

7:21 to 7:26: Drive new high school freshman to campus and drop off BEFORE the traditional "circle driveway." (Traffic? It is crazy at that hour.)

7:27: Cry a little when she doesn't turn around to say goodbye.

7:27:30: Throw up in my mouth a little when I look at the older girls' slutty manner of dress and the VERY OLD-LOOKING BOYS who are looking at my baby.

7:35: Arrive at the gym -- for the 8 a.m. class, instead of the 7. Lament being WAAAAAAAAAY early.

8:00 to 9:10: Sweat my brains out (CLEAN SWEAT, I tell ya!)

9:11: Get vaguely annoyed because I don't like the 8 a.m. class as much as the 7.

9:12: Get over myself.

9:13: Haul ass into the locker room and throw on some clothes for work. Clean clothes. That don't have clean, vanilla-scented sweat on them. Manage to throw on some makeup at the same time and marvel that it doesn't slide off my sweaty face (you're welcome!).

9:30: Drive to work. Make sure to stop at the Starbucks to treat myself to the honey latte that I was deprived of BEFORE going to the gym.

9:56: Sit down at my desk (late!) and immediately start blogging about how much I hate my new reality.

10:20: Set blog to post at midnight, knowing that Holly has cleared the way for me to appear on her updating blogroll for at least nine hours.

10:21: Actually begin the work that they pay me the BIG BUCKS for. (Well, after I read my emails, blogs and catch up with my scrabulous and sudoku Facebook games. I mean, SERIOUSLY, people! When did I have time for that in my busy morning?)

And then we can do it all again tomorrow ...


HRH said...

hahaha. I am smelling all vanilla-ey this morning too. I just got the body wash with yogurt in it. Yogurt? I hope that whole lactose intolerance issue doesn't cause me trouble today.

Can I apply to work where you do? I don't have enough time to blog.

nikki said...

I have to get up at 5:30-6:00 every day to make it to work at 8am.

And then I sit and blog and pretend to work.

LceeL said...

I get to work early (sometimes) so i can blog. Guilty.

Marmarbug said...

I am taking a nap after that one.

Sarah said...

hi-found you on another janet's cracked me up this morning!

i'll be back (you've been warned)

Kaytabug said...

Your humor cracks me up!!
I know that with my request to have my middle guy go to a different school means I have to drive him there which means I have to get up earlier and get ready to drive him there. I will still shoo my oldest out the door to ride the bus.
Will that give him a complex?

I hate the thought of me getting up at 6 am or 6:30 am....I hate mornings and I am such a night owl!
I guess the kids will just be going to bed even earlier.

Ok thinking about the changed that I will have to make are making me depressed. Stop! I want to get off too!! (ps. I don't even know if the transfer request was accepted until Aug.)

Rachael said...

Noooo... too..... early. I can barely manage getting up at 8 with my 2 year old and I am certainly NOT going to the gym then. You are like a superhuman or something.

Also, I'm sure I missed something, but why is Roo in school in summer? Does she go to a year round school, is it summer school, or something else special?

Immoral Matriarch said...

I don't want a job. If I get a job I can't sleep in. That would suck. But being broke sucks too.

the yawning Janet said...

thanks, I'm SO tired now! said...

I think you smell pretty good. Even diet cherry chocolate good. And, I also shower before I exercise...and then after, too.

Sandy C. said...

Any chance I can work where you do? ;)

6am is such an ugly time. No human should have to be awake that early.

Janet said...

I laughed out loud over the rat dogs turning into lovely boots. I have a cat that will become a nice muff if she pees on the couch again.

We are in SO much trouble when it's time to go to school. NONE OF US are morning people. The Mountain Man gets up at 6 every morning to go to work, though, so at least one of us is used to it. Two more years before that happens. Thank God.

And I believe I told you how to deal with those high school boys and the Roo-Girl. Or maybe I told someone else. If I didn't I will.

Burfica said...

What the hell??? school in the summer??? how HORRIBLE!!!!! I would die. I don't do getting up early very well.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Can I go back to bed now? Cause DAMN am I exhausted after reading that.

Oh, and what Nikki said. Exactly.

Laurie of the Seven Stories said...

You are a prize winner on my blog, please come and give your acceptance speech.

Robinella said...

I'm a cucumber melon sweater myself. You're a funny girl.

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