Just when I think there is nothing more on my planet to write about this week, my mother calls.
Now, let us review.
My mother, though interesting in her child-rearing techniques, is a pretty with-it broad who is still active with many volunteer organizations and views her physical fitness and health to be a high priority.
Witness the taking of the pole-dancing class.
And, while you're on that post, please let us remember that how ever much of a rockin' granny she is, she is positively prehistoric when it comes to technology and has hired a computer teacher to come to her house to instruct her on all things email and internet.
OK, are we all up to date on Mommy Dearest? Cool.
So she happened to mention to me recently that she wanted to get my dad a Blackberry or something for his birthday at the end of July. Then she saw my iPhone at a recent family gathering and asked me about it.
I told her to wait for the new generation of iPhones and I would talk to her about it ... leading up to Friday's phone call from her.
Mommy Dearest: So now what is the new generation phone thingy we were talking about?
Evil Daughter: An iPhone, Mom. The new one comes out July 11.
M-Dearest: And how much does it cost?
Evil-D: $199 for the 8-gig.
M-Dearest: Eight-gig? What does that mean?
Evil-D: Just the amount of storage space, like for music and stuff. Don't worry about it. The 8-gig is just fine for him.
M-Dearest: OK, but then what?
Evil-D: Well -- uh, oops. Who is your phone carrier? You don't have AT&T, do you?
M-Dearest: How do I figure that out?
Evil-D: It's written on the phone??
M-Dearest: Oh, yeah. I guess it's Verizon.
Evil-D: Do you know how deep you are into your contract? Because the iPhone is only AT&T, and you'd have to switch carriers.
M-Dearest: *exasperated sigh* I don't know. Your father takes care of all this stuff. Doesn't Verizon have phones like that?
Evil-D: *clearly the most patient daughter on earth* Yes, Blackberries ... and others. But not iPhones. Those are only AT&T. What is it that you want him to be able to do?
M-Dearest: To get his emails and write them and text.
Evil-D: Right. A Blackberry. You should just go to a Verizon store so you can TOUCH them and see how they feel. Because the feel of the keys will make a difference.
M-Dearest: What do you mean?
Evil-D: Like some of them have a full QWERTY keyboard but they're small keys, and it depends on how adept he is with his thumbs.
*a brief pause*
Evil-D: And really, Mom? I don't want to know the answer to that one. TMI, ya know?
M-Dearest: Oh. Well. No. OK.
Evil-D: So ... um ... do you want me to go with you to the Verizon store to help you with this?
M-Dearest: I'm thinking maybe he might like a nice sweatsuit instead.