Monday, July 7, 2008

Fun Monday: the Gone Fishin' edition

Olive of the cleverly titled and bannered Ur Olive has jumped into the Fun Monday hosting fray this week. She thinks a brain fart made her do it. I think it's more like the crazies, but that's just me.

Anyway, here is her challenge:

Hey, we are starting a new month and will be celebrating our Day of Independence soon in the US so let’s make the next FM a fun time. I would like to hear about your *whopper* of a fishing story. Yes, you heard it correctly whether it is fictional or non fictional I want to hear a fishing story from you. An example would be if you catch a minnow and tell it that you caught a swordfish (exaggeration is the operative word here). Did you hear me say show your photo(s)? Of course you did – be creative.
Um. I don't fish. I fished when we spent summers at the beach as a child, but that mostly involved unsuccessful forays with droplines off a pier.

My kids, however, fished. Once. Wonderhubby took J-bear and Z-man on a charter boat thingy. They caught a LOT of fish. They had it prepped at the harbor. We froze them.

I don't really think we ate any of it.

OK, maybe once.

HOWEVER (and yeah, didn't you know there was a "however" in here?) ...

My best fish story actually doesn't involve poles, lines, bait or even boats.

It was the start of my relationship with Wonderhubby (uh, Wonderdate, at the time).

We had "met cute" in a karaoke bar (I told this story a loooong time ago) and after all the dosi-do'ing in the bar (Is he here tonight? Did he go to the OTHER karaoke place instead? etc.), we were finally going out on our first real date -- dinner.

Which led to a second.

This time, he took me to the movies -- a matinee. Let me revise that. He MET me at the movies (I didn't let him near my children or my house for almost six months).

I had carefully -- and I mean CAREFULLY -- pre-selected a film that was not gonna be a cryfest, a chick flick or romantic in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM.

Please remember I was still pretty scarred from my marriage to he-who-shall-not-be-named and the aftermath, and I didn't want to put myself into a gooby, squishy, lovey-dovey place just yet.

Afterward, we sat in his car before I took off in mine.

And he started to talk. Please remember, we were still getting to know each other. It would be awhile before I understood how his mind works -- and the occasional disconnect between brain and mouth, resulting in tangled thoughts that sprint past the mental gatekeeper and spill out into the world, unfettered.

He said something about exclusivity. About not dating anyone else. And some other stuff that, quite honestly, I do NOT remember because I was very busy holding on to the car door handle with a death grip.

Eventually he figured out that he was scaring the holy crap out of me, and he stopped talking. And we parted company.

The next day I got an email. (And for the record, it took a search of the hard drives of TWO previous computers to find a copy of it. Hi, honey, I love you!!!)

All I was trying to say today was that my intentions are honorable.

Perhaps I could use a fish analogy. Some people catch a fish just to hold it up for a moment and take a picture with it. Then they put it back in the water and let it swim away.

Others catch a fish, take it home and eat it. That doesn't sound right. Take it home and mount it -- that sounds dirty. Oh well, the point I'm trying to make is once I get someone hooked on the line (I don't mean that to sound like it hurts), I take all the lines from all the other poles out of the water so the lines don't get crossed up, ending up with a tangled-up mess. Once I, metaphorically speaking, get the fish in the boat I have no intention of letting it go.

I am not saying that I will ever get you in the boat. There is no timetable associated with any attempt to get you in the boat. I would never deceptively coerce or attempt to force you into the boat.

I do agree that we should, as you say, play it by ear. It's that my ear is telling me to reel.

Who knows? The drag may be set too loose and you may just swim away with my line. Or maybe the drag is set too tight. I pull too hard and the line snaps.

I know no one knows what the future may hold. I just know if I quit reeling, however fast or slow, you never end up in the boat (which could happen).

By the same token, if you ever get the notion you definitely would not like to be in the boat, just let me know and I will cut the line. (Please don't be too hasty on that decision.) The main point I am trying to make is that I'm not just some jerk trying to get another notch on my gun (a bit of western metaphor).

-- Wonderdate

Please don't think I'm nuts. I just like you to know where I'm coming from.
Ooooooooookay then.

It required another writer (my BFF) to help me construct a reply, since I was busy fuh-reakin' out. And although he saved a copy of what we know refer to as "the fish story," my response is lost in cyberspace.

The gist of what I said, however, was this: Let's just take this one step at a time. And considering how long I have been out of the dating ocean, don't set the line too tight or too loose. For now, I'm just enjoying the fishing trip.

Is he cute or WHAT?? After all his effort to set the hook, how could I help but fall in love and live happily ever after?

So ... that's my fish story. What do the rest of the Fun Monday'ers have to offer today?


karisma said...

LOL! Oh I love it! He is definitely a keeper! Don't want to throw that one back! Very sweet and to the point!

iPost said...

Oh Janet...i love your fish story! How creative he was in trying to explain himself. But why is it that men just can't SAY it. You know what I mean? It is all metaphors and beating around the bush. Just say it, dagnabbit!

ChrisB said...

That fisherman caught you hook line and sinker~ such a lovely romantic fishy story :)

Hootin' Anni said...

That's cute. If I read this and it was me involved I would be thinking about a bait trap. I guess I'm one of those fish who would just jump at the first 'wriggly' worm.

But I'm glad you have fallen in love with him.

Like Karisma says in her comment, this is one you don't wanna throw back.

HRH said...

I am in LOVE. OMG. Seriously, he is the sweetest, cutest EVER and now I believe should have a blog.

I now know you two were meant to be forever and ever amen.

Olive said...

That was such a heartwarming email that you received from him. A romantic can sometimes be difficult to come by. I see that you did not let this one get away.

SwampAngel65 said...

Ok, hands down, that is THE BEST fish story I have ever heard. OMG, he is SO sweet, and he does have a way with words, doesn't he. He should definitely have his own blog.

I loved it! Thanks so much for sharing!!

Janet said...

Wonderdate/Wonderhubby indeed!!! What a sweetheart. And I read the "how I met my spouse" post - that is a fabulous way to tell the story. When I first met the Mountain Man I thought he was gay. Maybe I should tell that story sometime.

Peter said...

Aaw Shucks Janet, that's just so doggone cute, no wonder you bit!!!

Sarah said...

That is so cute!! He was trying to be so eloquent...with a fish story :D

(P.S. You won my giveaway ;) I swear it wasn't rigged :P)

Catwoman said...

That is just the sweetest most romantic thing I've ever read.

susan said...

OK, you win best post!

That is the stangest, sweetest romantic love letter I've ever seen. said...

For the man who wanted a juicer, I'd say that's seriously romantic. I love me some Wonderhubby.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh that was lovely. Does he like fishing? No not that kind of fishing, I mean real fishing with real fish and everything. Otherwise the fishing analogy was a weird way to go, hee hee. It would have got me interested though.

Alison said...

now that is a great fishing story...the best yet!!!

Burfica said...

awww that is so dang cute. You gotta know they have to be worth keeping if they keep trying and trying to explain themselves even after we have freaked out big time. lol

Molly said...

Awww, you are both mighty cute. Apparently, you did the right thing at the right time and eventually let go of the door handle.

Rebecca said...

O.k., that is just about the BEST E-MAIL EVER. (I can see why you were freaking out, but awwwwww!)

Janet said...

Best fish story ever.

Sandy C. said...

OMG! 2 past computers? Why is that printed and framed on a wall? Best fish story ever!

Wonderdate is too funny :)

IamwhoIam said...

Love you HOWEVER and the WonderDate E-mail was way too funny

Rachael said...

That is great!

Junebug said...


lisaschaos said...

He called you a fish?! And you still married him?! :) It is a cute story. I won my hubby online by using the word "pique" in my ad. :)

Robin said...

I'm impressed...he worked hard on that email. Did he think you were into fish and would fully appreciate the analogy though? No matter, still stinkin' adorable (and GLAD you were able to put your hands on it for FM).

Miss Anne Derstood said...

I'm coming to marry you and Wonderhubby.

He's perfect for US....

K said...

Oh gosh - I am a sap. But Wonderhubby's fish story made me cry!


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