Friday, August 15, 2008

Haiku Friday: the flatten me like a pancake edition

Haiku Friday

Squiiiiiiiish -- turn this way please.
Squiiiiiiiish again. This is torture
but necessary.

I went for my mammogram yesterday. Fun times.

(Sorry, guys. Go turn on ESPN or something.)

There's something about having your boob smashed into a pancake between two plates (and then watching the tech twiiiiiiist a knob to make it even tighter) that really makes your day.

I do this willingly, of course, because, well, it's an important preventative measure.

But, seriously, people. They can put a man on the moon. Don't you think they could find a better way to look at breast tissue???

I blame men, of course.

Obviously, a man had to have invented this torture device for women. There's a cartoon out there somewhere that shows a man getting HIS parts examined in a similar manner for a MAN-ogram. My guess is that, if a man really had to have one of these, he would have invented a painless alternative!!

OK, OK, I am just having some fun here. Every woman should be doing self-exams and having mammograms when age-appropriate.

Because early detection is the key.

Go get squished.

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23 comments:

Rachie said...

lol! I love your stories!!

LceeL said...

On a perfectly serious note (and passing up the opportunity to make anatomy remarks), MEN should be doing self exam, as well. Because, guess what? MEN can and DO GET BREAST CANCER. And when they do, there's a higher instance of mortality because men don't examine themselves and therefore the cancer is discovered much later. Like when it's too late. So, make it part of your ritual. Have your wife or significant other teach you how. Or let her (or him) do it. And you do her. There's a level of caring and intimacy there that is not sexual, but emotional, and it's incredible. Try it. You'll like it and be better for it.

Honey Mommy said...

Never had a mammogram yet... I think I am a bit to young yet. They do check me out at my yearly gyno visit, and that is almost as exciting (not to mention the OTHER tests they do at that time). Wahoo.

Thanks for the haiku and the message!

Janet said...

I had mine in January or February. I managed to get out of it for a few years (breastfeedings and mammograms do NOT go together). I had a technician who was altogether too perky for a 40-something year old who kept telling me I was AWESOME! I have very little to work with, so required getting squished 4 times on each side. The machine is automatic and one of the plates nearly broke my collarbone. But I'll go back and do it again next year. My mother is a 6-year survivor of breast cancer.

Melissa said...

This is one time that I like being "over abundant". Mammograms aren't that big of a deal for me. :) Of course I'm not quite at the annual stage yet, but there ya go.

But you are so right, early detection is the key. I know this as well. Gret job spreading the message.

nikki said...

We need t-shirts that say "GO Get Squished."

Karen of Sillymonkeez said...

How true! Isn't it sad that I knew what you were talking about before I even got past the second line of your haiku? LOL!!

Thanks for visiting me today!!

Karen of the MomDot Street Team
www.MomDot.com

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

Happy to have not been squished, yet. But when the time comes I will go.

Thanks for stopping by and doing the haiku too!

Cassie said...

Apparently it is less painful and more accurate to get an ultrasound done. Unfortunately, most insurance companies will only pay for it if there is already a suspected problem. I mean, come on, give a girl a break!

Great haiku though! Thanks for reminding us all that we need to take care of ourselves.

Burgh Baby said...

I personally am a big fan of the fact that there are more effective ways of looking for breast Cancer, and yet we have to get squished. I'm pretty sure a man is behind that.

Patsy said...

Cute haiku --- good reminder ---

Janet said...

They don't bother me so much...maybe it's cause they're so big?

Laurie said...

Thanks for stopping by That'sthewayitis.

It's important to note that we of wee breasts have little discomfort during this weird procedure.

It's about time those A and B cups paid off!

storyteller said...

I’m with you on the ‘there has to be a better way’ part … and agree that regular checkups do save lives. Excellently haiku’d reminder!
Hugs and blessings,

Burfica said...

I'm sure I need to do the squish thing soon.

I know in some cities they have this nice machine that you lay on your belly and let your boobs fall through these holes, and it does the scan that way. I think they need to get one of those for each hospital. hehehehehe

Colleen said...

I still remember when Rosie O'Donnell had free "I Got Squished" t-shirts for anyone who submitted a copy of their mammogram receipts. Thought that was an awesome way to try to get more women to get theirs done.

btw, I'm dumb and don't have your email address...if you don't mind emailing it to me or private plurking it to me, I would appreciate it. ;)

Laura@Storytellin' Mama said...

I had my first one earlier this year.

"Go get Squished", I love it!!

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Yay for you getting squished! And, just remember men get that prostate check....

Lilacspecs said...

I have yet to be squished but I guess at some point I ought to. I do self exams every month though.

Momo Fali said...

Right. Very important...yet, definitely invented by someone with testicles.

Tink said...

Or DID they put a man on the moon? Dun dun duuuuuuun.

Sandy C. said...

Great reminder :) I definitely take a moment to feel my bewbs often. Very important since I have a bit of history.

p.s. Why isn't there a better way to do a pelvic exam? I mean seriously! If they can find a way to warm up lube, they can do the same for those speculums!

flickrlovr said...

Too young for a mammogram yet, but when the time comes, I will be first in line. My Mom had breast cancer a couple years back, and I am SO very thankful that it was caught at an early enough time to be taken care of and knocked out. She did have to have a mastectomy and other surgery, but no radiation or chemo, thank God. So because of her, I'm being extra careful. I've actually had ultrasounds done of my breasts (and no issues so far, yay). My best friend's mom (who is basically my second mom) had breast cancer around the same time as my own mom, and unfortunately, it was a more serious kind, caught later. She went through everything (chemo, radiation, surgery, etc.) but is in remission now :)

I think it's ultra important to keep on top of breast health and do self-exams and all that good stuff, so thanks for blogging about it. Even though you can find the humor in it, it's definitely a good message to get out there. A vital one.

 
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