Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Nobody knows the trauma I've seen ... *edited for lameness*

Teenage girls and angst-ridden poetry go together like love and marriage.

Horse and carriage.

Soup and sandwich.

Sheesh, I'm starting to sound like a Campbell's soup commercial. (Yes, I'm old -- and it's a classic, AND I tried to find a youtube video and, alas, failed.)

Anyway, emotional drama/trauma + teen girl = perfect poetry fodder.

Which brings us to today's question.

If a girl writes a poem in a forest and nobody reads it, is it still angsty?

Or ...

If a girl writes a poem and LEAVES IT ON HER DESK FREE AND IN THE OPEN ... is it OK to read it?

Let's take a poll, shall we?



*edited to add: oh for GAWD'S sake... Polldaddy does not preview the damned poll. Apparently if you do not eliminate Answers 3, 4 and 5, it shows up and proves that you are mondo stupid. OY*

I'm interested in your comments, in addition to your votes.

Because, my DEAR, I'm entering unknown territory that is laden with estrogen land mines.

Help.

And send chocolate.

29 comments:

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

I would say it's OK IF she is happy for you to enter her room. If that's something she's used to you doing I would thing that maybe she deliberately left it there for you to read. Her way of communicating how she feels perhaps? If this is all new territory for her it might be difficult for her to talk about it.

If you wouldn't normally enter her room when she's not around, then no, it's probably not OK.

Happy Campers said...

So I was feeling all justified when I saw that 100% of the people voted the way I did...that yes, it's OK to read!

But then I saw that only 2 people had voted (1 being me), so I don't feel as justified now...

I'm nosy. If it's out, I read it.

Melissa said...

I agree. If she "accidentally" left it out, she probably wants you to read it at some level. Just so long as you don't blog it. Without her express permission, of course...

Janet said...

I agree with everyone else. You've posted pictures of her room before, so obviously you're accustomed to going in there. I think she probably did leave it out on purpose. I remember writing all those angsty poems as a teenager, but I carefully hid them and never let anyone know I was writing them. I still have them. When the Queen hits puberty I plan to make them available so she will know that yes I do understand how miserable it is to be a teenager.

texasholly said...

I think answer 3 should have been, "it is free to read and should be posted on her mom's blog ASAP".

I want to change my vote to #3.

Zoeyjane said...

I'm not sure what's 'right' but I know that you can get away with reading it as long as you never tell her that you did.

LceeL said...

As a writer of angst riddled poetry myself, although I WAS older at the time i wrote all that stuff, I CAN say that many times, if not most times, it doesn't really help to write it unless there is an audience to share a sympathetic moment or two. But I would ask her if it's okay to read it - without necessarily letting her know you're already done so.

Marmarbug said...

I SAY DO IT! But I am SUPER nosy. SUPER nosy.
And well she'll NEVER EVER KNOW.
DO IT!

God I am so terrible.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I was the only person to vote no? Wow. I'm either the only person with high morals. *snickers* or really naive. :P

Domestic Spaz said...

Well, you already know how I feel about it. And if she's silly enough to just LEAVE it there then it seems fair game to me. My mom used to "clean my room for me" while I was at school so she could get at all my notes and stuff. Luckily I wasn't really up to much. :)

Burgh Baby said...

Hrm. The teenage girl in me screams, "GET OUT OF MY SH@T, MOM!" but the mom in me says, "Hey, you leave it out, it's fair game."

I'm siding with both. I don't think it's OK to read it, but the Mom in me would do it anyway.

Catwoman said...

A part of me really wants to say no. But the rest of me is DYING to know what that poem says, and the only way I'm going to find out is if you read it.

Actually I really want to vote for "answer 4" just for kicks.

Catwoman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tink said...

Not only should you read it (she DID leave it out), you should POST it. Ok, maybe that's evil. I am curious though. It's been awhile since I read teenage angst poetry, and then it was mine. Is it still as horrible as I remember it?

Btw, I'm almost done with the book! What did Roo think? Did she finish it yet?

Karly said...

I really wanted to pick Answer 4, but I went with DON'T YOU DARE READ THAT, YOU HORRIBLE SNEAKY WOMAN! instead. And I only chose that answer because I used to write some pretty terrible angsty poetry and I'd leave my notebooks full of it lying around the house NOT so that my parents could read it, but because I was easily distracted. They did read it though. And it pissed me off. My parents used to leave their mail laying on the dining room table...I didn't read it though.

Margaret said...

Would I read my child's angsty poetry? Yes.

Would I have been pissed if my mom read mine? Yes.

double standard? ha. yes.

melissa said...

oh yeah...read it!! do to her what my mom did to me...and what i do to my daughters!!! read it!! i always have to know what's going on...and what better than to read letters, diaries, and things laying around the house...waiting to be discovered by...the MOTHER!!!

Bethany said...

If it's out I would read it. I did, actually. My 17 yo leaves her writings aout sometimes and I read them. I don't tell her I do but I do it.

My mama justification: If she would talk to me I wouldn't have to read them. Lame I know but I need to know what I'm dealing with.

Sandy C. said...

I'm on the fence. My mom totally read my diary once, and I wanted to DIE! But it's so RIGHT THERE out in the open... such a tough call.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Wow the poll is very one sided. And, I think you can totally read it. Poor J. I know you are bummed.

Alison said...

well, did you read it? I am also entering into this territory and need to know!!!

baran said...

Read it but don't tell her. My daughter used to get so angry when I went into her room. But I would and I sneaked a peek at her poem 'laying out on her desk'one day. I didn't tell her I read it. I was shocked. A red flag went up big time. She was a cutter, I didn't even suspect. She had an excuse for everything. Just figured teenage hormones. Thankfully five years later, she's ok now and she brought her writings to me for me to read since I encourage her to read all my journals and scrapbooking. I believe with all my heart that it was a silent scream for help and I'm so glad I listened to that little voice that said 'go ahead and be nosy'. I call them 'angel whispers'.

MamaLaina said...

I have to say as a girl who was once full of 'angst' poetry herself...and now as a mom, you should read it...especially if your daughter is particularly private...don't EVER say you did though, she'll be mighty po'd...but read it, it's the only way you'll ever know what's REALLY going on in her brain/life cuz Lord knows she'll never tell you.

Burfica said...

hahahha that is to funny I would read it even if it wasn't in the open. But hey I never had any privacy why should I let my kid. lmaoooooooo

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Moms Rule: Read and Don't Tell.

Then act like your all psychic and stuff when you have to discuss anything pertaining to Angst Poem. This also applies to IM's, diaries, Facebook and so on.

GoteeMan said...

The answer is YES... angsty anywhere, anytime, anywoods, anyways...

if it's out, I'd read it, if not, I don't go snoopin unless I have just cause...

J/

Karen said...

f she left it out in the open, in plain view, then she secretly wants you to read it. I would say go for it. And, if she did not leave it out in the open, but hid it from you and you found it by accident, then I would definitely read it.

Sometimes it helps us as mothers to know a few things they want kept secret. No one says you have to discuss it with her, or even tell her you read it.

Oh, and that not telling her you read shit goes double if it is about you. I have three daughters, all in their 30's now, and I read what they wrote, never told them, but it helped me know what was bothering them, and sometimes it was me.

Jenni said...

As the person who wrote the poem, I would completely fuhreak out if you read it. Ask dh about this, he can vouch for it. Um, so can oldest ds. I'm very sensitive about having people read what I write. I have major issues with people I know IRL reading my blog.

As the mother of teens, it is sometimes a temptation I can't resist. IF it is out in the open. I don't go looking for it. But when Caleb left a spiral notebook on the coffee table and I didn't know who it belonged to and had to figure out in order to put it away? Yeah, I scanned most of what he'd written. He's one hell of a writer, but he's shy like me. I did fess up to it though. I told him I really liked the things he'd written and why I happened to be reading them and he didn't mind. It was hard for him, but he was also a little relieved.

Pamela said...

another giggle escaping for the answers 3,4, and 5.

as for the unknown territory...I remind you, that from the day you become pregnant you enter unknown territory... and I'm beginning to think it never ends. (Even being a grandma is unknown territory.)

You've done' pretty damn good so far, so I have faith that you will tack with the wind --

 
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