Thursday, August 21, 2008

One piranha, two piranha, three piranha, four ...

My parents are sometimes referred to (out of their earshot, of course) as the piranhas.

This actually stemmed from an incident when Wonderhubby and I were still dating. Well, more than dating at that point. Those three magic words of commitment had been spoken, and yet my parents would not acknowledge the relationship by including him in family events.

What did they want?

Dinner. The four of us.

What was on the menu?

Wonderboyfriend under glass.

I've told a version of this story before, when the Drama King introduced his boyfriend, Rocky, to Wonderhubby and me.

The original piranha dinner (and by the way, in the intervening few months since I posted that story, you'll be happy to know that I did figure out how to spell piranha properly!) has become Planet of Janet family lore, but little did we know that it would make a return appearance.

Oh, no, not for Wonderhubby and me ... but for the Drama King and Rocky.

Yes, history repeated itself as the Drama King asked to include HIS significant other in family events hosted by the grandparental units.

And found himself facing piranha dinner for four.

On the menu?

Rocky under glass.

To say the two of them were nervous is to underestimate the power of my parents to induce flop-sweat'edness.

I wanted Drama King to take notes.

"Oh, excuse me, Grandma," he snarked back at me. "I have to write this down for my mom."

Then I suggested he wear a wire.

I mean, really, people. How can I get a good Drama King story out of this if I don't get accurate reporting???

Anyway, dinner was at 6:30 p.m. -- the time is only important if you look carefully at the time stamp of the first instant message:

Evil Mother (6:45:24 PM): *poke*

Evil Mother (6:45:37 PM): *runs away laughing*

Oh, yeah, I'm that evil. He didn't respond. Heh.

I managed to contain myself until after a suitable time period. But I will say I was a little disappointed in the reportage:

Drama King (8:13:36 PM): Hehe. It actually went very well.

Drama King (8:13:49 PM): They were subdued

Drama King (8:17:13 PM): Lots of work related subjects

Drama King (8:17:21 PM): No interrogation

Evil Mother (8:27:12 PM): wow

Drama King (8:27:47 PM): Yeah. Boring. Nothing worth writing home about

Evil Mother (8:27:59 PM): BUMMER!!!!!

Drama King (8:28:06 PM): Sorry.

Drama King (8:28:21 PM): Maybe next time

Evil Mother (8:28:23 PM): lolololololol

Evil Mother (8:28:30 PM): does this mean he passed, tho?

Drama King (8:28:30 PM): :-P

Drama King (8:28:41 PM): I assume so. He got hugs

Evil Mother (8:28:49 PM): yay!

Drama King (8:28:56 PM): Yay!

So the Rockster has passed the piranha test and will, according to tradition, now be invited to my parents' home.

Considering my sister's husband (father of this child ) is a homophobic bigot of epic proportions, I'm not sure that this is a good thing.

But it WILL be interesting.

Stay tuned.


Aoj and The Lurchers said...

Excellent news! So glad it went well!

Although if it hadn't, what a blog story it would have made!

Karen said...

When I met FabGrandpa, he worked for my brother-in-law, my sister's husband. At the same place.

So, when my father died, at the funeral, I was standing next to my mother when someone asked her why she received such a large floral arrangement from XXX company. My mother said, I have a son-in-law who works there. I said, "Mom, you have TWO sons-in-law who work there." and she said, "No I don't"

What does that say?

nikki said...

Oh I love to put homophobic bigot of epic proportions into their places. Can I come too?!?!

Yay for passing the test!

Marmarbug said...

Glad it went well.
And I THINK I am at the part in breaking Dawn that upset you.

Burgh Baby said...

I love that you *poke* your kids. Too hysterical.

Good for Rocky for surviving his night under the microscope. He rocks! Oh, wait. Is that why he's "Rocky?"

Janet said...

I think Rocky probably has vast experience in the world of the epic homophobic bigots. I can't WAIT to hear about it!

Kaytabug said...

WOO HOO! glad it all went well!!

Sandy C. said...

*poke*- You kill me :)

I love that your parents demand only a dinner for 4.

So glad all went well!

LceeL said...

How come all the good shit happens in YOUR family?

Wonderhubby said...

I define homophobia as someone who is deathly afraid that they are gay. I'm just sayin'.

Janet said...

Glad he passed the test. You know, without being eaten or anything.

Joy T. said...

Glad all went well! Can't wait to hear about the family gathering. Go Rocky!!

abritdifferent said...

I've been trying for a few days to come visit you at your new URL, but the bloody thing wouldn't load or even direct me here.

LOVE the original piranha story, I remember reading it at the time! So funny that it lives on.

The family gatherings may be a bad idea, but think of the blog fodder you could glean from his ignorance?!

robinslittlenest said...

Just checking in. Love the piranhas, the blond jokes, AAM/PM - been there! Boy troubles - acckkk. I've already prepped BN for those talks with our boys. You know, so they understand the girls pov. So important, cause we are loopy like that. lol.

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