My parents are sometimes referred to (out of their earshot, of course) as the piranhas.
This actually stemmed from an incident when Wonderhubby and I were still dating. Well, more than dating at that point. Those three magic words of commitment had been spoken, and yet my parents would not acknowledge the relationship by including him in family events.
What did they want?
Dinner. The four of us.
What was on the menu?
Wonderboyfriend under glass.
I've told a version of this story before, when the Drama King introduced his boyfriend, Rocky, to Wonderhubby and me.
The original piranha dinner (and by the way, in the intervening few months since I posted that story, you'll be happy to know that I did figure out how to spell piranha properly!) has become Planet of Janet family lore, but little did we know that it would make a return appearance.
Oh, no, not for Wonderhubby and me ... but for the Drama King and Rocky.
Yes, history repeated itself as the Drama King asked to include HIS significant other in family events hosted by the grandparental units.
And found himself facing piranha dinner for four.
On the menu?
Rocky under glass.
To say the two of them were nervous is to underestimate the power of my parents to induce flop-sweat'edness.
I wanted Drama King to take notes.
"Oh, excuse me, Grandma," he snarked back at me. "I have to write this down for my mom."
Then I suggested he wear a wire.
I mean, really, people. How can I get a good Drama King story out of this if I don't get accurate reporting???
Anyway, dinner was at 6:30 p.m. -- the time is only important if you look carefully at the time stamp of the first instant message:
Evil Mother (6:45:24 PM): *poke*
Evil Mother (6:45:37 PM): *runs away laughing*
Oh, yeah, I'm that evil. He didn't respond. Heh.
I managed to contain myself until after a suitable time period. But I will say I was a little disappointed in the reportage:
Drama King (8:13:36 PM): Hehe. It actually went very well.
Drama King (8:13:49 PM): They were subdued
Drama King (8:17:13 PM): Lots of work related subjects
Drama King (8:17:21 PM): No interrogation
Evil Mother (8:27:12 PM): wow
Drama King (8:27:47 PM): Yeah. Boring. Nothing worth writing home about
Evil Mother (8:27:59 PM): BUMMER!!!!!
Drama King (8:28:06 PM): Sorry.
Drama King (8:28:21 PM): Maybe next time
Evil Mother (8:28:23 PM): lolololololol
Evil Mother (8:28:30 PM): does this mean he passed, tho?
Drama King (8:28:30 PM): :-P
Drama King (8:28:41 PM): I assume so. He got hugs
Evil Mother (8:28:49 PM): yay!
Drama King (8:28:56 PM): Yay!
So the Rockster has passed the piranha test and will, according to tradition, now be invited to my parents' home.
Considering my sister's husband (father of this child ) is a homophobic bigot of epic proportions, I'm not sure that this is a good thing.
But it WILL be interesting.