Thursday, September 18, 2008

Crazy is as crazy does. And boy, do we ever ...

God, I do love the Drama King. He makes me laugh.

Which is a good thing, because sometimes? He ticks me off major.

But for the most part, he and I are the same kind of crazy.

Witness this recent wide-ranging instant messaging conversation between the two of us.

It started when he IM'd me out of the blue, apparently panicked by where he found himself one night:

Drama King: Save me!

Evil Mother: lol from what?

Drama King: I am in the belly of the beast!

Evil Mother: where is that?

Drama King: A coffee shop at Enemy University

*Editor's note: There is are only two colleges I root for: my own alma mater and whoever is playing Enemy University. My parents went to the cross-town rival. I was raised to hate that other place. No lie*

Evil Mother: ewwwwwwwww

Drama King: Woe!

Evil Mother: get out! get out!

Drama King: Rocky is DJing at a party, and I am his official roady!

Evil Mother: at enemy university??? horrible

Drama King: Sadness

Drama King: *woe*

Evil Mother: run!!!!!

Drama King: he knows he doesn't have to worry about me tho, cuz I would never date an EU student.

Evil Mother: ROFL

Drama King:

Evil Mother: you are indeed a son of my loins

Drama King: I should hope so. Although perhaps you should keep your loins to yourself.

Evil Mother: i wasn't really planning to share them with YOU

Drama King: And believe me, I appreciate that.

Drama King:

Evil Mother: believe me... you were there once. and that was ENOUGH for me

Drama King: And too much for me.

Evil Mother: eh. you dont remember

Drama King: I remember enough

Evil Mother: *shudder*

Drama King: Loins I say! Loins!

Evil Mother: you had a big head

Evil Mother: you STILL have one.

Drama King: Hmmm... genetics much?

Evil Mother: not me, your majesty

Drama King: My majesty? Drama King, master of the universe?

Evil Mother: swelled head much?

Drama King: THAT one I DID inherit from you, tyvm

Drama King: *hides*

Evil Mother: *snort*

Evil Mother: *beats obnoxious son with a clue-by-four*
*an expression I can't take credit for. I learned it on Plurk one night

Drama King: Don't do that to Roo-girl!*
*a reference to the continuing tease by all three brothers that Roo will turn into a boy on her next birthday. They started when she was 7 and every year bumped up the deadline. Sigh.

Evil Mother: you are so mean to your sister

Drama King: No I'm not! I like J-bear!

*Insert generally uninteresting conversational interlude about Z-man's visit to an eye doctor about how wonked his vision is. But this is a topic for another day*

Evil Mother: he uses one eye for distance and one for close. without thinking about it ....

Evil Mother: the brain is an amazing thing

Drama King: For a second I thought you said the (insert Rocky's real name here) is an amazing thing.

Evil Mother: ROFL

Evil Mother: i dont want to know about the happy penis dance again

Drama King: You should ask Wonderhubby to demonstrate. Its an instinctual thing

Evil Mother: oh shit i dont want to know about anyone's happy penis dance. instinctual?????

Evil Mother: eeek

Drama King: Hehe

Evil Mother: is it like jumping jacks?

Drama King: No. No. No.

Evil Mother: <--- is shamefully stupid, she guesses

Drama King: Why do you open such doors?

Drama King: I am only human!

Drama King: Incredibly amazing, yes, but still human

Evil Mother: *eyeroll*

Drama King: Don't deny it. You know how nifty I am.

Drama King: You are so jealous.

Drama King: Its ok. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Evil Mother: uh. yeah

Evil Mother: ok

Evil Mother: sure

Drama King: BTW, Twilight is kinda lame.

*Insert squealing of mental brakes as we completely change conversation topics*

Evil Mother: i liked it. did you finish it?

Drama King: Wah wah, I'm clumsy. Wah wah, everyone wants me...

Drama King: No. I'm 1/4 of the way through. Bella aggravates me.

Evil Mother: dont you want to be taken by edward, though?

Drama King: Not especially. Miss Meyer is not much with the description. He's got bronze hair and color changing eyes. Big whoop.

Evil Mother: oh but he's so ROMANTIC!

Evil Mother: *swoon*

Drama King: You're such a GIRL

Drama King:

Evil Mother: yeah, well that worked out well for YOU

Drama King: Lol, well... you know... that and the whole good in the sack thing.

Drama King: *waves his magical tmi wand*


Drama King: My work here is done.

Evil Mother: for sure


Kelley said...

love love love it! LITTLE bit more than a convo between me and Moo, but not much.

Oh and GO ENEMY U!

Karen said...

Life with you is never dull, is it?

nikki said...

I never ever want to know if my children are good in bed or not. I prefer to think they never have sex (or will ever.)

Burgh Baby said...

"Crazy" might be an understatement! ;-)

LceeL said...

You know, you could be generating material for a sitcom?

I was sitting here, trying to name it, but it is way too much fun and would be a way too long comment.

that might be an interesting exercise for your readers - name the sitcom.

Jaina said...

LMAO. And I agree with Iceel. Total sitcom. You could call it From the Planet of Janet ;)

The Laundress said...

You are the greatest mom ever.

Jenni said...

Hey! I've got a Twilight story for you.

Jo finished the 4th book a few weeks ago. She is frickin' vampire and werewolf obsessed now. She wants the books for Christmas. I said, "Surely they can't be worth reading *again*!?!" Insert serious eye rolling and teenage disgust. Will Smith was so right. (You know, back when he was the Fresh Prince and he was singing to *his* generation which just so happens to be *my* generation as well.) Parents just don't understand!

So, anyway, now that she's finished the series, or what there is of it now, she doesn't know what to do with herself besides pine for hawt teenage vampires and werewolves. (She actually likes some werewolf guy a little better than Edward.) Yesterday she googled and found the website and the trailer for the movie. She was *so* flippin' excited that there is a movie coming out.

And then? Major devastation and disappointment. Wailing and nashing of teeth. Moanings and groanings and other indications of eternal inner turmoil. Full on teenage rant while driving to pick up her sister from a friend's house. She still just has her learner's permit and needs driving hours, so I was trapped in the vehicle with her.

HOW could they pick THAT guy to be Edward? He is SO NOT Edward! Bella's okay I guess. And the bad guy. But everyone else is pretty much wrong, especially Edward and cute werewolf guy. (I'm sorry, I was trying not to listen.) Edward should have been someone like Heath Ledger, except, you know, alive. (At this point I thought, "No you really can't play one of the undead if you're dead.") But someone JUST LIKE Heath Ledger!

She was so passionate on this point that I stopped laughing and looked over. Her eyes were actually welling up with tears! I said, "Wow, you're not gonna cry, are you?" Of course she tried to play it off like she wasn't that upset. The concerned and caring mom in me had to ask, "Are you PMSing or something?" Which, predictably, received a glare from the teenage daughter. She couldn't hold that glare though. She started laughing and insisting she wasn't tearing up, the tears brimming and threatening to overflow her eyelids any moment. And then, great BIG teardrops! Followed by embarrassed wiping away with her T-shirt, more ribbing (especially about whether or not she was mentally stable enough to be driving) and absolute denial to me and the rest of the family. Of course they knew who to believe.

Josh just responded with, "I hope Edward dies. Bella too. I hope they all die." He's a little bitter about Jo convincing him to read Twilight for AR. She told him he'd love it and went on and on about how wonderful it was. He figures he's got to finish it now in order to get his AR points, but he says it's a total chick book. And he would like to emphasize that he is NOT a chick.

Jenni said...

Ha! I guess I've blogged for the day;o)

Rachie said...

Mwhahahaha!!! This was great! I love reading your im messages with drama king!

Rachel said...

Fantastic. Love the view into your world ;-)
I love the relationships you have with them. said...

Holy carp. HE WENT TO ENEMY U?? UGH. I'm thinking that part was the hardest for you to digest, wasn't it? EEWW Freaking condoms.

Catwoman said...

Hysterical! And I think Drama King and I could make awesome friends, because I totally agree with his review of Twilight. I thought I was going to have to gouge my eyes out if I read about Edward's marble chest one more freaking time. Ugh!

Tink said...

Priceless! Do you think the Drama King would text me? ;)

Janet said...

Still laughing over here while I'm trying to catch up on nearly 2 weeks worth of posts. I'm liable to pull something reading this many at one time.
It would take me 3 days to do that much texting. Then again, my phone doesn't do text messages.
I still want to meet your family. But I'm bringing a paper bag to put over my head when I hyperventilate.

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