Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Birthday dinner: more fun than a barrel of monkeys

Drama King turned 25 last week. Mind-boggling that I could be the mother of ANOTHER 25-year-old.

And yet, it's undeniably true.

Also undeniably true? That where there is a birthday in our family, there is a birthday dinner (all the others are buried in this category, if you need a little memory boost -- or a brain explosion).

So I present to you, with all my faculties about me, the craziness that was DK's party:

Drama King: So, Roo-girl, do you have a boyfriend?

The Roo-girl: *eyeroll*

Drama King: A girlfriend?

The Roo-girl: *glare*

Rocky: Hey, we don't judge here.

*pause*

Rocky: A hermaphrodite?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Drama King: We need to get Drummer Man to play World of Warcraft with us.

Rocky: Ooooh, yeah, we totally do. We can rope him into our obsession.

Drummer Man: Uh, no. I LIKE my relationship.

Fabulous Girlfriend: *giggle*

Drummer Man: You know, there was a whole Dr. Phil show about this ...

Ok, I'll admit, you really had to be there to think this is funny. DK and Rocky were laughing riotously, and Drummer was just so EARNEST.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Drama King: So, Fabulous Girlfriend, when are you going to make an honest man out of my brother?

Wonderhubby: Yeah, so he can stop all that stealing ...

Evil Mother: *smacking Wonderhubby HARD on the arm*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Waitress: *with dessert tray* So we have a banana spring roll, and this is our flourless chocolate dome.

The Roo-girl: Ooooh. How do you do that? I didn't think that chocolate ...

Evil Mother: It's a flourless cake, Roo. A chocolate cake made in a dome, without flour.

The Roo-girl: *blushes a furious shade of red* Oh, I thought ...

Evil Mother: Oh. My. GAWD. You thought we were talking about FLOWERS.

*turning to waitress*

Evil Mother: Have you met my daughter? She's the BLONDE over there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Really, there was so much more:

A precious, precious moment when the words "poke the piggy" were followed by "Who has the conch?" -- a reference to "Lord of the Flies" from the most unlikely source of all, J-bear, whose learning issues and reading problems are legendary.

Some kind of conversation that ended with me clapping my hand over my mouth as I uttered the words "When? At your wedding?" to Drummer Man and Fabulous Girlfriend.

A discussion of vagina dentata, a subject that Drama King is apparently obsessed with. Leading to the interesting inquiry by Rocky -- showing bad breeding that he OBVIOUSLY learned at Enemy University -- as to whether I personally was afflicted with such. ("I guess only Wonderhubby would care, huh," Rocky ultimately conceded.)

And there were photos, too, which I will add to this post later.

When I recover from the idea of vagina dentata.

24 comments:

Karen said...

I don't know how I missed that reference the first time around, but, ewwewww! But I can see how that could come up in conversation.

Janet said...

good lord! And I was embarrassed by my Dad making reference to menstruation yesterday!

ps...my word verification today on your blog was "squadude"

abritdifferent said...

Sounds like my family too, my in-laws are the same way too.

Now...there's an image I won't be able to scrape from my mind.

melissa said...

hey, that sounds like my kind of table talk. we should have shabbat dinner one friday.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Roo is SOO blonde sometimes. But, did you have to explain what a hermaphrodite was to her? Oh, Rocky. I think he fits in just fine. Did Drummer give you any indication when he might become that honest man?

nikki said...

I love your family. Seriously. Anyone who can fit hermaphrodite into a conversation is awesome.

Eternal Sunshine said...

As usual, your birthday dinner story did not disappoint.

And, I'm a bit blonde myself, so I kept wondering what Wonderhubby was going to accuse Drumer of stealing... LOL

Jenni said...

Talk about a maneater...

I really don't remember what else I was going to say. That one comment completely wiped out everything I'd read previously. Vagina dentata (actually, just talk of it) will do that to a person.

Momo Fali said...

Please adopt me. Please!

LceeL said...

I hate to admit this, but I had to google it. I THOUGHT that's what it meant - or referred to. Kinda gives the expression 'maneater' a whole new meaning for me. Fortunately, the mental state that it's associated with has NEVER been a problem for me.

Jaina said...

LMAO. I love these conversations, too funny. I'd love to be the person sitting at the next table listening to you, or better yet, sitting at your table enjoying the conversation too!

Debbie said...

I just love it when you all go out to dinner. If I send money, would you go more often?

Kaytabug said...

LMAO! I was even LMAO at the one you said we maybe had to be there...
So you have actual photos of vagina dentata, that you are going to share with us later? Wow! I'm impressed!

tee hee my word verify is gasmat!

Karen said...

Your family is such a good time. Really.

Momisodes said...

OMG!

I clicked on the link...that lead me to the Wiki for vagina dentata.

I'm officially having nightmares tonight.

Janet said...

Well, there you go. Just the ordinary dinner conversation.
I had actually heard of VD (hah!) and successfully wiped it from my memory.

Thanks ever so.

Tink said...

I love your family. It reminds me of mine. Hoop and I came home from our honeymoon and found our bedroom decorated in condoms. Apparently, my family had a lot of fun in CVS picking out which kind to use.

Rachie said...

cackle cackle cackle!!!

Burfica said...

OH gawddddd I want to go to just one birthday dinner with you guys. Or or or take a webcam and let me watch. hehehehehe

Burgh Baby said...

Um, yeah. So, you REALLY need to start video-taping these parties. Just sayin'!

Catwoman said...

Added to my bucket list: Have dinner with Janet's entire family. Because the laughter would surely add years to my life.

Joanna said...

That is funny! Love it that you provoke. hee hee

Zoeyjane said...

I don't know what dentata is and I think I don't wanna. But you have some really fun Dinners. I wanna come.

Crazy Mo said...

Your family sounds as crazy as mine! Donchya just love 'em?! I found your blog through Moosh in Indy. You now have a new follower! Keep it up.

 
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