Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The best of 2008

As we celebrate the last waning hours of 2008, I figured I would blatantly steal from Texasholly of June Cleaver Nirvana and offer up my favorite photos of the year.

And may 2009 bring you nothing but the best.

JANUARY

Happy New Year!


FEBRUARY


Portrait of a teenager as a silhouette


MARCH

True love


APRIL

Sibling love


MAY

Play it for me, D Man


JUNE

The graduate

JULY

The magnificent seven

AUGUST

First day of high school


SEPTEMBER
A month driven by sports

First time J-bear is bowed to as a black belt

Leaping lizards!


OCTOBER

An all-star moment for the Roo-girl, who had the opportunity
to be on the track to stunt with the varsity cheer squad!



NOVEMBER

Drama King's birthday hug

DECEMBER


Because nothing says happy holidays like sequins!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The girl with the hoop earring

I have a pair of earrings that have defied all odds.

Little white-gold hoops with some little diamond chips in them. Simple. And perfect for me. A birthday present from my parents some years ago.

Once I lost one. It was NOWHERE, so I put its now-solo mate away, mourning the loss.

Two years later (I am NOT kidding), I was putting on makeup in my bathroom and dropped my brush on the floor.

When I bent down to pick it up, I saw my earring. Weird, I thought, because I had put that one earring away when the mate was lost.

I picked it up and put it back -- and found it was already there. Yes, after two years, I had found the missing earring on my bathroom floor.

Fast forward to our trip to Hawaii this summer and swimming with dolphins. One of the rules was that you had to take off all jewelry. Dolphins are notoriously curious, and anything glittery was subject to being poked at by the water creatures.

So I removed my rings, my watch, my necklace -- and my earrings -- before getting in the water to do this:


Then I put them all back on.

Except.

As Wonderhubby and I walked back through the park, I realized that I only was wearing one earring.

We scoured the area, looking in the shower drains (we had swum with dolphins, don't forget -- we were a little fishy) and finally retracing our steps back to the lagoonic scene of the crime.

Where eagle-eyed Wonderhubby found the errant earring.

I was weak with relief at its second coming.

And back to the hotel we went, where, by necessity, I put my treasured earrings in a little pouch thingy. (For reasons too complex to explain, I had to wear different earrings that night and the rest of the vacation.)

When it came time to put those earrings back on, the pouchy thing with the treasured earrings ...

Was gone.

We ripped apart the hotel room and our luggage. But alas. They were really and truly gone this time. Stolen by hotel personnel, we suspect, but we can't prove that.

I mourned. And wore no earrings at all.

At the risk of making a long story even longer, I went to a Hanukkah craft-fair-boutique thing (my vocabulary improves with every sentence, eh?) on my lunch hour about a month later and found an identical pair for a reasonable sum.

I circled the jeweler for about 20 minutes before picking up my cell and calling Wonderhubby at work.

"I found my birthday present from you," I told him, explaining my discovery. "Can I buy them?"

He roared with laughter over the phone, but agreed that having me buy the earrings was the best way to handle it. The jeweler, who thought the two of us were hilarious, wrapped my earrings in a box with a bow and put it in a blue gift bag, similar to Tiffany blue.

Which I handed to Wonderhubby that night and he put away, until my birthday a week later.

"Oh, my, what a surprise!" I giggled when he handed me my gift.

But I was happy happy happy to put in my new/old earrings.

Fast forward again about two weeks -- to last weekend, when I went shopping at the mall with the Roo-girl. (And never ever ever let me do that again on the weekend before Christmas, ok? Glad we got that settled.)

We actually had a lovely day, although crowds give me the squirrelies, and when we got back in the car, I (as is my habit) reached up to touch my ear lobes.

To make sure the earrings were still there.

And.

One.

Was.

Not.

Can you say FUH-REAK OUT????

Because there was no way in hell that I would have been able to retrace my steps during a three-hour shopping trip in the mallest-of-malls.

So we went home.

And I stressed. How was I going to tell Wonderhubby that I already had lost one of my new/old earrings? It had been barely two weeks!!

I stressed in silence for several days (meanwhile going earring-less for the duration).

Until Christmas morning.

"I found your earring, by the way," Wonderhubby announced, as we were puttering around.

My earring? He didn't even know it was lost. Did he?

"On the bathroom floor."

And so the story comes full circle.

(And let me just tell you how many times a day my fingers fondle my earlobes, just to be sure. Miracles only happen so many times, ya know!)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Love is a many-splendored (and long distance) thing

This week my story is not of my own children, but of my best friend's.

Some of the details are changed to protect the innocent -- and the Google factor.

My bff's son -- let's call him Freddy -- is in love.

(Continued at Mid-Century Modern Moms)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Weekly Winners: December 21-27


On the fourth day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me ...

Animal farm???

State champs:

Please note the bookend gimps. Two sets of crutches and one tailbone injury.

Brick breaking -- in flames:

Look carefully. The guy breaking the flaming bricks is a mere blur!

No, I do NOT want my picture taken:



Oh, never mind. You're gonna take it anyway, huh?


Grumpy gingerbread man:

Made with love by Drama King and Rocky

My favorite gingerbread man ... THE MUMMY!



Go --->here<--- for more weekly winners.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Haiku Friday: the post-Christmas edition

Haiku Friday


Holiday crazies
now recede to the background.
It's time to relax.

At last it's over,
and perhaps we can get
back to normal now.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

An ode to Hanukkah, or how my children again prove their comic worth

'Twas the first night of Hanukkah, and the start of my poem,
When the Planet folk gathered for dinner at home.

The candles were placed in the menorah with care
In the hopes that no wax would drip on the chair.

The children arrived with their usual aplomb
And this time, we hoped no one would drop a bomb.

And Wonderhubs in his t-shirt and I in my sweats
had just settled up all our gift-giving debts.

When out in the family room there arose such a clatter
We sprang from the kitchen to see what was the matter.

And what did my horrified eyes see? This surely blows:
It was Rocky with his finger up Drama King's nose!

Boys! Behave! I said with a shout,
with a force that could blow the candles right out.

It's time now for presents, I said, without shame,
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Here, Drummer, here Z-man, and Drama King too.
And here is a present for dear little Roo.

For J-bear, here's one that will give you great pleasure,
And Rocky, a gift card! Buy something you'll treasure.

For Fabulous Girlfriend (who didn't quite make it),
A gift card for you too (Drummer Man, will you take it?)

The gifts were all opened and everyone thanked.
It was THEN that the evening (as usual) tanked.

The Roo-girl displayed her giftie from Z:
A stuffed mustache pillow! So useful ... you see?


The pillow was joined by her last-year's gift:
A glass rooster -- and the rejoinders were swift!

"Look!" the boys cried. "Look," they all mocked.
"Look, on the table ... it's the Roo-girl's cock!!"


I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work
And smacked those bad boys. Hey, it's a mother's perk.

The rooster was beaten, knocked over -- a shock!
"No," shouted Roo-girl, "don't break my cock!"

Hilarity reigned until no one could breathe,
And continued until it was past time to leave.

But no, dear readers, do not despair.
I do have one more pearl of wisdom to share.

With wrapping and ribbons and sparkles galore,
My children at last knew that there was no more.

But Z-man was riffing about tidings so gay,
And about the detritis, he had this to say:

"Glitter," he opined, "is the herpes of craft.
"You can never get rid of it ..." and everyone laughed.

Then I pointed my finger -- you know the one --
And told them with that crack? They were officially DONE.

So they sprang to their feet, gave their old mom a kiss
And away they all flew, just like nothing was amiss.

And I whispered to Wonderhubs as they all drove away:
Happy Hanukkah to all, and to all an OY VEY!!!!


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Because nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a little board breaking

J-bear's first appearance as part of the black belt demo team

Monday, December 22, 2008

The present of his presence

Life is good in the Planet household this week.

All my kids were together last night for the first night of Hanukkah. Those of you who know what happens when all my kids are in one room can figure that this will lead to a birthday-like post sometime this week.

But for now, I am basking in the glow that is the return of my prodigal son.

(Continued at Mid-Century Modern Moms)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Weekly Winners: December 14-20


Chief Running Dog:


Doggie on guard:


Rainy-day view:


Candy-cane flower:



Alley-ooop:

State champions, doncha know!!!!!

Double down:



Go --->here<--- for more weekly winners.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Haiku Friday: the stand up and cheer edition

Haiku Friday

And then there were nine.
Competition tomorrow.
Will they be OK?

Who knows if the girls
will overcome injuries
to climb to the top.

It's been a rough week for the Roo-girl's cheer squad, with injuries and efforts to put a new routine back together in less than a week. Keep your fingers crossed for them.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And while we're on the subject, hop over to my friend Holly's place today. It's her birthday, and she wants to hit 100 comments on her birthday post.

Happy birthday, my friend.

XOXOX

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Hey, we can play along too!



Meghan at A Mom Two Boys is having a special day today -- a bloggy holiday card exchange.

Check it out -- the idea is that we all post our holiday card on our blog. That way, says Meghan, we can all "send" our cards to all our bloggy friend, all the while saving "on postage, (not having to) stalking everyone for their addresses AND we’d be totally GREEN by NOT using extra paper to print more cards." She even has a Mr. Linky just for that purpose.

I mean, seriously, I'd love to send each and every bloggy friend my family's holiday card. My biggest difficulty with that, however, is not the postage or the address thing.

It's that ... um ... we don't send out cards.

I guess we COULD send out cards. We just don't.

So an opportunity to play with Picnik and make something? Well, that always speaks loudly to me.

And so, with no further ado, I present to you our official (first and only) holiday card:

Damn, they're cute!

You're welcome.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

In which my son shows his fine upbringing and command of the English language



Evil Mother
20:18: is it cold, honey? bwahahahahaha

Auto Response from Z-man 20:18:
FREEZING MY FUCKING BALLS OFF




I'm so proud.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The thrill of victory, the agony of other things

I planned to write a very different post today.

I planned to write all about my daughter's first high school cheer competition.

About the anticipation.

The excitement.

The preparation.

The blood, sweat and tears.

And the elation of getting out on the floor and doing your thing.

Instead, I have a different tale to tell.

Join me at Mid-Century Modern Moms.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Weekly Winners: December 7-13


It's still green (and yellow) here:



What goes up ...



... and up ...



... must come down:



Surprise! The fountain has a visitor:



Go --->here<--- for more weekly winners.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Haiku Friday: the love me always edition


Haiku Friday


Oh be still my heart ...
It's that time of year again
when my taste buds cry.

Come to me, my love.
Come to me and complete me.
My ass love knows no bounds.



Thursday, December 11, 2008

Birthday dinner: what a load of crap!

I really did laugh out loud at the comments on my birthday post.

Because in addition to the birthday wishes (for which I thank you), there were countless expressions of glee that a Planet birthday meant a Planet birthday dinner.

You guys crack me the hell up.

Of COURSE there was birthday dinner.

However it wasn't the usual free-flowing hilarity that usually accompanies a gathering of the Planet crowd.

No, this one had a theme.

And it was crap.

No, seriously. It was CRAP.

Poop. Excrement. Poo. Ka-ka. Whatever you want to call it.

So if you are squeamish about these things, let me suggest that you bail NOW. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I do not want to be responsible for any gagging or gross-outs later on.

You have been duly warned.

Ok, only the strong have remained? Cool. Let us begin.

So ... poop.

It all began with a toilet that wouldn't flush. Well, it flushed, but it didn't CLEAR. Ya know?

And we were in a hurry to leave the house, so Wonderhubby and I agreed we would deal with it later, when the water had a chance to ... uh ... recede.

In the car on the way to dinner (just me, Wonderhubby and Roo-girl), someone said SOMETHING that I don't remember, but it led directly into a conversation about the backed-up potty.

And the mention of the "turdlet" that remained.

Yes, I used the word "turdlet" -- and Roo-girl nearly fell out of the car in complete hysterics.

Which prompted Wonderhubby to tell a TOTALLY disgusting tale of a stall in the men's bathroom at Costco (one of the few places where I will "go" ... but probably not anymore).

So have I appropriately set the scene for you? It really, truly went downhill from there.

We arrive at the restaurant (one of my faves -- and we probably can't go back), and the rest of the crew is waiting for us at the table. Drummer and Fabulous Girlfriend. Drama King and Rocky. J-bear.

And the word "TURDLET" falls trippingly out of my daughter's mouth. Followed by supreme giggles.

Of course, everyone demands an explanation, which leads, of course, to the retelling (gag) of Wonderhubby's Costco story.

Drama King: Hahahahahaha. Rocky, you should tell YOUR story.

Rocky: Well, as long as we have stooped to this level ...

The Roo-girl: TELL TELL TELL!!!!

Rocky: My friend was once pretty drunk, and I decided that it was better for him to sleep it off at my place than to drive home. Little did I know that he crapped his pants in my car.

*I warned you ... get out now while you still can!!!!*

Rocky: At least I didn't know until I saw the trail ... of droplets ... from the car ... to my apartment ...

Evil Mother: Huh. Kinda like Hansel and Gretel, so he could find his way?

Drama King: Yeah, except if Hansel and Gretel had used that, they wouldn't have gotten lost.

The Roo-girl: *falls on the floor in uncontrollable hysterics*

Wonderhubby: There was a guy I went to school with who was totally nasty. One day he was sitting at his desk, and he shook his leg and a turd fell out.

Drummer: Yeah, well, that happened to me once ... when I was at the grocery store.

*AN ABSOLUTE DEADLY SILENCE SETTLES ON THE TABLE *

Drama King: Hmmmm. I'm a little surprised you would share that with us ...

And, accordingly, I am TOTALLY going to hell for sharing it with the internet.

But I can't say I didn't warn you.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A chance to see the world ... or not

I have a saved "search" with Monster.com. Every week or so, they send me an email with possible jobs that I might be suited for.

I have applied for a few. One yielded an interview last week, so we'll see what happens with that.

But in the meantime, there is one that recurs.

Evil Wife: Monster sent me another job possibility.

Wonderhubby: Oh yeah? Is it a writing job?

Evil Wife: Oh yes. Journalism, photojournalism. The whole works.

Wonderhubby: Cool.

Evil Wife: Of course it requires relocation.

Wonderhubby: ...

Evil Wife: Probably some interesting places, too.

Wonderhubby: ...

Evil Wife: It's the Navy.

Wonderhubby, now known as EVIL Wonderhubby: Do they know how OLD you are?

Evil Wife: *weeps slightly* I hate you.

All of which is to say that as of today, I'm even OLDER.

Happy birthday, me.

Monday, December 8, 2008

All that glitters is the lights in our eyes

On Saturday, the Roo-girl and I went to the mall. (Eek -- a Saturday during the holiday-shopping madness? Were we crazy? Um yes.)

At Mid-Century Modern Moms, I reveal all.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Weekly Winners: November 30-December 6

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ...



Ahh, I jest. I know many of you have snow and freezing weather. We have this:

Ok, I know I will get coal in my dreidl for sure.


We watched a Christmas concert at the mall:









The Roo-girl watched from above:


And the week isn't complete without some kind of cheer photo:

They performed at a food bank collection event over the weekend

Go --->here<--- for more weekly winners.
 
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