Saturday, January 17, 2009

How the heck did you get HERE????

Ok, I've been trying to ignore some of the weird-ass Google searches that have landed people on the Janet planet, but this time I have been pushed over the edge.

Now, I know that I am not getting the pervy searchs that some people get. But, really, people!!!! I'm very, very disturbed!

See if you don't agree:

aftereffects of intestinal surgery: um, well, I don't think this was really what you were looking for. Seriously.

poops on floor in grocery shake out leg: Ok, really. I'm mean, REALLY. I know it came up at our dinner table, but ... oh please, tell me this is not as common as it seems to be.

maya angelou, you only do what you know best: In a year and a half of blogging, I can promise you that I have never once mentioned or quoted Maya Angelou. Until now.

what to wear to eight grade graduation: Just ask my daughter. She's a pro.

the cutest college boy on the planet: Aww, I think he's cute too!

kids crystal light snorting: Ok, I admit I do say *snort* occasionally ... but I swear I never had anything go up my nose. And Crystal Light? Ew.

janet um body work: Janet UM body work???? Huh???

l[ght boxes: That was, indeed, the search. However, I'm still not sure what sound the letter "[" makes.

janet wet herself: Oh, man. I thought no one saw!

its 10 am in the morning do you know where your children are music: I frequently don't know where my children are, but I NEVER know where my children are MUSIC. Especially at 10 a.m. in the morning (although I admit I ALWAYS know at 10 a.m. at night).

pickles: I swear on the lives of my unborn grandchildren that I am not of childbearing age anymore. No pickle cravings.

chicka chicka tang tang walla walla bing bang: Someone needs to brush up on their "Witch Doctor" lyrics. This is waaaaay off.

i tinkled in my pants blog: Ok, I'm beginning to get a complex about this stuff.

i'm 15 she's 10?: No. No. No. Not now. Not ever. If you're 15 (or, frankly, anything but 10), step AWAY from the 10-year-old girls.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Seriously, people, this is weird -- and disturbing -- stuff. Perhaps I start writing about hearts and flowers and unicorns, and leave the body fluids to someone else.



Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Okay, I just snorted some Crystal Light and now my brain is on fire and there are evil mice chewing on my nasal cavities. You should post some sort of a warning or at least better instructions. Am i supposed to mix it with something first?

Jenni said...

Why does everyone else get all the funny searches? I did actually get a few recently, and I wrote them down on a post it note. Now if only I could find it...

It's about time you mentioned Maya Angelou. Why haven't you mentioned her?

LceeL said...

Well, I DID come here on purpose. Maybe I should just go do random searches until I find one that points here?

Judith Shakespeare said...

Guess I'm putting up that Prada bag that I was getting you for your next birthday and grabbing a bag of Depends instead...

Indigo said...

I haven't exactly checked to see how people find I'm scared to know. (Hugs)Indigo

Alekx said...

Now I think you should try to blog about things that will get even weirder searches hitting your blog.

It's like this sick challenge now.

Go on I dare you

nikki said...

I knew you liked to tinkle in your pants. Freak.

Scary Mommy said...

People are so freaking odd, aren't they?!!! Mine are always way freaky, combining the words mommy + scary + fuck. I really should stop cursing on my blog to put an end to it, but I just can't seem to, LOL!

Joanna said...

I made a few cracks about wanting to enter the witness protection program so I could escape my mom and then I started getting hits from Washington D.C. I hope they know I was just kidding and won't come interview me.

Kelley said...


Delete all references to unicorns.

*rocks slowly in the corner*

Janet said...

So did the same person snorting the Crystal Light poop in the grocery store? Aye yai yai. (I just realized I've never tried to spell that. Think Ricky Ricardo.)

Jaina said...

The things that people search's crazy!

Chris said...

New subscriber via your super duper giveaway. After reading this, I've finally talked myself into installing a stat tracker to see how people get to my personal blog. More than one of yours made me LOL!

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