Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dream state

I have a recurring dream.

The circumstances are always different, but the underlying theme is always the same.

I'm supposed to be somewhere, and I'm not ready to go, and time is ticking away, and I'm supposed to pack -- or get dressed -- and a deadline looms. And I'm stressing ... and worrying ...

And then I wake up.

Every. single. time.

It's a stress dream, this I know. My version of the "public speaking in your underwear" or "showing up for the final and knowing you have no clue what class you are taking" dreams.

Sometimes I'm in a hotel and I know my plane takes off at 6 a.m. and it's 5:30 and I'm not even packed and ... oops.

Sometimes I'm in a dorm room and I'm leaving college to go home and I haven't packed up my stuff and my plane leaves in an hour and ... oops.

Sometimes I am supposed to be on stage with my chorus and I don't have my makeup and our call time is minutes from now and ... oops.

That was the dream I had the other night. We just came off of competition season for my chorus. In my dream, I knew I had to be onstage in 30 minutes, about 90 miles from home.

And I was still in my bedroom, looking for my mascara.

Somehow, though, I ended up in the auditorium, all dressed and made up, but as I rushed inside, the chorus had already taken the stage. I sat in the audience and sobbed.

And somehow, sitting next to me was my director, even though she actually would have been on stage directing my chorus mates.

In my dream, she put her arm around my shoulders and told me, "It's ok, you missed this one, but it's ok, don't worry."

If that had been real life, she would have ripped me a new orifice in my derriere for missing the performance, but never mind that part.

The important part -- in my opinion -- was this:

The dream was completed. I was late, I missed my deadlines, I was upset and beating myself up, but I didn't die and I was told that "it was ok."

What is different since the last time I had this dream?

I left the newspaper business. I left the stress behind. I found something that makes me happy.

And I brought closure to my recurring nightmare.

Ahhh. Life is good.


Don Mills Diva said...

Wow - that is really cool.

I wonder what I have to give up to stop having the dream that I am about to be take a final exam for a course that I have never attended or studied for...?

Suzanne said...

That is pretty. freakin. awesome. I'm happy for you!

LceeL said...

Isn't it great when the Universe stops by to let you know you've done good?

Karen said...

Congrats, girl! Not many people can end their stress as effectively.

justmylife said...

Strange how that happens. I should really pay attention to my dreams, but that could be scary! heh!!

Janet said...

I'm so glad that you found work that makes you happy!

Gina said...

I have a dream like that every Christmas season - that I wake up at 4 or 5 on Christmas morning and I don't have any gifts for the kids.

red pen mama said...

My dream is that I am about to go on stage (I did theater in college) and I realize I don't know any of my lines. I also have another one where I'm in high school and I can't even find my locker (and I don't know the combination anyway).

On one hand, I haven't had these dreams in awhile. On the other, I haven't gotten to where you are, yet.

That sounds like a wonderful dream. Congratulations!


Janet said...

Interesting - closure to a nightmare!! I had one of my recurring dreams last night, though not a nightmare. I always dream that in our house was a door off my mom's bedroom that led into this humongous beautifully furnished room that we were never allowed in until after we were grown. Last night I added the detail of it being my sister's wedding day (never mind that she got married 6 years ago and Mom sold this particular house in 1985) and she was just lounging around in her wedding dress waiting for time for the ceremony. And Viggo Mortensen showed up wearing toreador pants, a white lace shirt, a silk rose at his waist and carrying a sword. And I asked him if he thought maybe he wasn't a bit overdressed.

I also still have the dream that I'm doing something in public, like cheerleading, singing in choir, whatever, while being completely naked from the waist up.

And no one notices.

Rachael said...

That's wonderful!

Debbie said...

I love that. It is OK when we mess up, isn't it? But it is hard for me to believe that.

Momisodes said...

That is wonderful! Good for you for taking the leap. I am just thrilled for you.

Shelby said...

awwhh closure.. good :)

Trannyhead said...


Now celebrate your psychological victory by partaking in some beans.

musing said...

Very happy for you!

The Queen said...

I always dream about livin back at home with my parents which was pure hell. Geez, that was so 12 years ago and I'm still dreaming about it lol I have to wake up and remind myself that I'm in my own home and not theirs! said...

That is some good self analysis and I'm sure you're right, but I just hope you don't have that dream at all anymore, good ending or not. ;-)

Jaina said...

My mom always has those about tests and stuff, like, school stuff. :)

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