Tuesday, May 26, 2009

... Aaaaaaaaand we're back!

So it's back to real life after our whirlwind trip out of state for Z-man's graduation.

Three days that included the obligatory trip to Sonic (we don't have one at home) for cherry limeades, bodily functions and the usual "huh??" from the very blond Roo-girl.

While examining the Sonic menu, we had this highly educated exchange:

Wonderhubby: What the ... $2.99 for a corn dog??

Z-man: That's kind of a lot, yeah.

Wonderhubby: That must be some corn dog for $2.99 at SONIC.

*Pause for maximum effect*

Wonderhubby: *quietly* What is that? The John Holmes memorial ...

And no, he didn't finish his sentence because I had already smacked him on the arm.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Z-man: *belching loud and long* brrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaachhhhhhhhhhh.

Evil Mother: Oh, REALLY. Must you?

Z-man: Well, it's gotta come out, and it's better than coming from the other end. I've been keeping THAT corked up for about an hour.

The Roo-girl: And we all thank you for that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The light turns yellow and Wonderhubby slams on the brakes, bringing our rental car to a stomach-wrenching stop.

Evil Mother, Z-man and Roo-girl: *in unison* Arrrrghhhhhhhhh ...

Wonderhubby: Well, I didn't want to go through the light. I don't know how strict they are about that here.

*no response from the still-moaning peanut gallery*

Wonderhubby: And see? There's a cop right there?
Evil Mother: Where? How did you SEE that?

Wonderhubby: When you drive as much as I do, you develop a nose for that.

Z-man: I smell BACON.

Evil Mother: Bwahahahahhaha.

The Roo-girl: Huh?????

Wonderhubby: Roo-girl, back in the '60s, the hippies called the police "pigs."

The Roo-girl: Really? Why? I still don't get it. What does bacon have to do with it?

Z-man: Oh brother. Cops. Pigs. Bacon.
The Roo-girl: Ohhhhhhhhhh. How come I never get this stuff?

Wonderhubby, Evil Mother, Z-man: *in unison* BLOND.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Flight attendant on the way home: Make sure your carryons are safely stowed in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of you. Your lap is NOT considered appropriate storage for your handbag or your manbag.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We arrived home and parked the car. Z-man pushed his car door open, smacking the vehicle parked next to us, uttering these immortal words:

"Fuck, oh oops. Shit ... oh no, I mean ... damn!"

Yeah, he's home ...


Aoj and The Hounds said...

Can I come and live with you please? I really could use the daily chortles!

LceeL said...

Aoj and The Hounds has the right idea. If SWMBO ever throws me out of hte house, I know where I'm going.

But I don't understand how you can blame a good Jewish girl for not understanding the whole bacon/pig thing. I know kids who have NO IDEA where the beef in the McDonalds Hamburgers comes from. We drive down the road, see some cows in a field, and I'll say "Oh look! MacDonalds on the hoof." And #3 son will say "EEWWWWWWW. Dad! Must you?" And his girlfriend says, "Really? Oh, Yeah, I guess, huh?"

Roo is just fine, thank you.

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Roo-Girl is priceless!

justmylife said...

I swear I just want to come visit during one of your gatherings! Ya'll are a hoot!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Let me guess... Roo is the only blond in the family? ;-)
Were you jotting all these down as they happened? Cause, good job!

Burgh Baby said...

It's good to have Z-Man back in the game, if only because he will constantly remind you that he can control the quality of the air around you. NICE!

nikki said...

your family kicks ass. i love you all.

Jaina said...

Lol, I love the conversations your family has. You could totally have your own sitcom...

Joyce-Anne said...

I love these stories. When things get boring around here, I'm coming to visit.

Kaytabug said...

tee hee, haaa, haaa, bwahahahahaha! I love you guys!!

Janet said...

I saw a John Holmes movie once. That corn dog would be $5 easy.


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