Wednesday, May 27, 2009

It's my dream, and I'll cry if I want to

Yesterday, the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same-sex marriage that California voters approved last November. At that time -- before the election -- I wrote this for Mid-Century Modern Moms.

It's my personal wish as only one of the many, many families touched by this ruling. Because those of us who ARE affected are not just faceless numbers. We're real people with dreams and hopes.

And so I thought it was appropriate to reprint it here today:

Once upon a time, there was a little boy with a dream.

He dreamed of love. A romantic love, in fact. Of love that transcended the ages.

He knew that his dream was not really all that realistic. It was a dream, after all.

But he continued to hope that one day he would meet the one person in the world who was absolutely perfect for him.

The one person who would understand his dark moments.

The one person who would understand his sense of humor.

The one person who would be the yin to his yang.

The one person who would love him back with the same intensity.

The one person who was meant just for him.

There were many dark years as the little boy grew up. Many years when he thought that one person didn't really exist.

Many false starts. Many times when he thought ... maybe? This time? Is this the one?

And many times when his heart was broken. Not just broken, but smashed to little pieces by a person who turned out to be much less than he thought.

Until now.

The little boy is a week from his 25th birthday. Almost a year ago, that elusive "person" he was seeking appeared.

And he knows love.

Romantic love.

Precious love.

Someone who understands his dark moments.

Someone who understands his sense of humor.

Someone who is the yin to his yang.

Someone who loves him back with the same intensity.

Someone who was meant just for him.

Last May, something happened that would open the way for the little boy and his true love to be able to get married.

Tomorrow, California voters will decide if that still can happen when he's ready.

As the little boy's mother, I want that for him.

I want for him and his boyfriend to know the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs, of marriage.

I want to dance at my son's wedding.


LceeL said...

I had something funny I wanted to say .. but this situation isn't funny. Given that Prop 8 was instigated by the Christian Right - I am reminded of a song by the Klezmatics:

I ain't afraid of your Yahweh
I ain't afraid of your Allah
I ain't afraid of your Jesu
I'm afraid of what you do in the name of your God.

Now they have forced THEIR God on everybody in California. And, even from here, it doesn't feel very good.

nikki said...

This makes me so angry, that even now, in the year 2009 people still think they have the right to deny basic human rights for everyone.

justmylife said...

The sad part is he only wants what everyone else has. And he deserves it just as much as anyone else. It drives me insane, that a few people have the power to make so many miserable! I am glad he found his soul mate and I hope one day very soon, you can dance at your little boy's wedding.

Burgh Baby said...

It WILL happen. In our lifetime, our kids will all have the opportunity to be treated equally and the terms, "separate but equal" will be recognized for what they are--discriminatory and hateful. If Iowa can do it, so can California.

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Bottom line,... California can only ignore the 14th amendment to the Constitution for so long and I believe, with all my heart, that your son will one day also know the Gift of marriage to his beloved.

As a former, long-time Californian and as someone, who for the longest time was the ONLY straight person in my office, I am disappointed that OF ALL STATES, California refuses to recognize the value of allowing gay marriage for its citizens.

But it will happen! Tell your sweet son congratulations from me on finding that needle in a haystack and to consider this a period of LONG engagement.

You will dance. I promise!

Your favorite Catholic,


Karmyn R said...

Even though it was overturned - there is nothing stopping your son from still having a ceremony and living his life.

It might not be "legal" but he can still celebrate and you can still dance.

Slowly, many companies are giving health benefits to "Partners" and not just legal spouses. Slowly, slowly things will change.

Suzanne said...

It makes me angry that a matter of biology is being subjugated. Why would any person CHOOSE to be persecuted for who they love?

Keep fighting the good fight. We'll be doing the same here in backwards Florida.

Someday, we'll have more than Holy Unions for our friends "in the life".

Indigo said...

I cried today when I realized it wasn't going to happen. The Courage campaign is already working to make sure it's on the bill for next year, and every year after until it's reversed. Your son's are in my thoughts today dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

A Spot of T said...

One step forward...two steps back. It's a dance I've never liked. It's so hard to believe this is taking so long to go through :o(

Tink said...

Beautifully said! It makes me so angry that people, people not personally affected by gay marriage, can decide what gay people can and cannot do. It's wrong. said...

Ooooh, honey. That is heartbreaking. I am so sorry, for you and your son and all the other men and women this will impact.

melissa said...

that made me cry.
it's all ignorance and fear...of what THEY consider different. people are so...stupid.
your son SHOULD be able to marry his one true love. REGARDLESS of what sex. anyone should be able to.
and i agree with what a lot of your friends already said...
it WILL happen. it's starting to.
so you shouldn't put away your dancing shoes just yet!!


Kaytabug said...

I'm with Nikki! Heck I loved what Lceel said! How about you just re-read what everyone else said, otherwise I might get all fired up! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Janet said...

It took a long time for women to get the vote, too. Hang in there. You'll be dancing before you know it.

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