Tuesday, May 12, 2009

When 'mother' is not just half a word ...

Yes, Mother's Day. The day when we honor our mothers and our children honor us.

Sorta kinda.

Mine was not exactly what I wanted it to be, but I'll live. We spent the morning/afternoon at my nutty sister's with her bigoted husband and their divine creation, otherwise known as my 7-year-old niece.

(Hoooooh-wheee! I'm snarky today!)

But the good news was that I was surrounded by my own progeny, and where they go, trouble usually follows.

Things I learned at Mother's Day brunch:

* My brother has no gatekeeper on his language, even with a 7-year-old in the room. It's hilarious to watch everyone repeating the Yiddish words of my childhood: "Der kinder, der kinder! (The children, the children!!)"

* My children recognize bad behavior when they see it -- in other people. Their own? Eh.

* My mother is now wearing a tutu when she pole-dances. (I wish I had a picture of my brother's face when THAT came up.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Psycho-sister: *holding up a half-full 2-liter bottle* Does anyone drink Diet Coke? Please take this home.

Nasty-mouthed brother: We'll take that off your hands.

Pole-dancing mama: Waaaaait just a second. What are you going to with that bottle?

The Roo-girl: Bwahahahahaha ... Grandma will wrestle you to the ground for the empty bottle. She's saving for an Armani suit.

Pole-dancing mama: That's right!! One day ... one day ...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Proof that the apple doesn't fall all that far from the tree:

Bigoted (and grossly overweight) brother-in-law: No, really, I couldn't eat another bite!

My father: *deadpan* Doesn't look like you've had any trouble with that before ...

My mother: *gives my father the death glare*

The rest of us: *fall on the floor in hysterics*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There was, of course, more. I'm just going to have to figure out how to get a tape recorder into these events so I don't forget stuff!


LceeL said...

I love your family. And Yiddish ... it brings back such memories ... it is, undoubtedly, one of the most expressive languages on earth - when used properly.

The Duchess of Wessex said...

See? All things considered, You came out the winner. Your children were around you, and once again, you were proven (if only in your own mind, which is always enough for me!) to be the best mom, wife and daughter there. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

Burgh Baby said...

iPhone has GOT to have an app that will let you record audio. It MUST!

Indigo said...

The side comments alone would be worth selling tickets for a seat at that table. I loved your dad's honesty. I can't wrap my head around the tutu...or exactly how that fits in with pole dancing. (Hugs)Indigo

Kila said...

Love it :)

Jill said...

Your parents are teh awesome!!!

nikki said...

Adopt me......please?

(I am such a loser, I still need to send you your prize. I haven't forgotten, it's just hard to see with one's head up their ass.)

Joyce-Anne said...

ROFL Your family is too much.

Karen said...

I'm thinking you should just barge in with a video camera right up to your eye. While you would lack spontaneity (and a lot of fun times) I'm sure your family would not fail in the entertainment department.

Momisodes said...

Your father is awesome :)
I'm still giggling here!

There must be a vlog or audio clip posted here soon.

melissa said...

oy the yiddish!
happy belated mothers day.

Momo Fali said...

I love your family too. I would love to be a fly on the wall at one of your gatherings!

Jaina said...

Lol, I love it! Happy belated Mother's Day!

Suzanne said...

I recently had my flip tucked in the front pocket of my handbag, recording a conversation that I may have needed as backup. It worked like a charm for an hour!

Mariposa said...

At least you got a laugh! I still hope you find that time to do the things you want...ah, which reminds me, I'm hosting Fun Monday nest week and you may like the topic...just check it you. :)

Happy Mother's Day...I'm not late...you're a mother everyday! LOL

Janet said...

I love your family. And your father rocks!!!!! So does your Mom, but I admire your father for calling out your BIL.

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