Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Random acts of weirdness

Heard around our universe ...

Z-man: I think I weigh 120 now -- with my clothes on.

Evil Mother: Really. How tall are you now?

Z-man: *previously short dude grinning with newfound height* 5-foot-8.

The Roo-girl: Hmmm. I'm just barely 5 feet, and I weigh 100 pounds.

Evil Mother: Mostly muscle.

The Roo-girl reaches her arms in the air and stretches langorously.

Evil Mother and Z-man: *in unison* And BOOBS!

The Roo-girl: *smirking* If you've got 'em ...

Please note this was the girl who bemoaned her undeveloped state not too long ago. She is now ... ahem ... more boobish than me. Grrrrrrr.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Evil Mother: So tell me about your job, Z-man. What are you doing at the restaurant?

Z-man: Well, I slice and dice stuff, and when they say "Dos crabcakes, por favor," I go get them.

Evil Mother: Bwahahahahahahahahaha ...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Roo-girl: *crankily* I don't want to be up now.

Evil Mother: Me either, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The Roo-girl: I can't WAIT to own my own business.

*pause*

The Roo-girl: I'm not going to open until 11 every day!

Evil Mother: Not so good for business if you don't open early.

The Roo-girl: I. DON'T. CARE.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Roo-girl: Come ON, Mom. We need to stop at the 'Bucks before school. Coffee! I need coffee!

*Time out while I finish getting ready for work and we drive to the local Starbucks*

The Roo-girl: I'll have a vanilla bean frappuccino.

Evil Mother: *bursts out laughing ... because apparently she's the only one who realizes vanilla bean fraps are COFFEE-FREE drinks*

17 comments:

Mr Lady said...

At least she's got a rack...

sexy said...

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Jenni said...

Wow, I don't know what to say after Sexy's comment!

The boys used to call Jo "Queen NeverTitties". She's now bigger than I am, which isn't saying much except that she's quite a bit bigger. She is one of those rare girls who gets to have the teeny tiny butt and the big boobs. Butthead. Meanwhile, my 12yo looks like she's about to overtake me as well.

Sarah said...

makes my childhood seem a little mundane...

You guys are hilarious!

Jill said...

So do you ask him for "Dos crabcakes things por favor" all the time now? I think I would ask for Dos everything por favor after that story! lol

LceeL said...

Okay .. now I feel like a perv. Can we NOT talk about teenage bosoms?

Daisy said...

If nothing else, parenting is entertaining.

ChrisB said...

I love these conversations.
I see you didn't delete your 'sexy comment'

justmylife said...

I see sexy commented here too. I deleted it for fear of some sort of strange porno sites, you are so so brave. heh!

Karly said...

I'm with Mr. Lady. You don't really need to be smart if you've got nice boobs. ;)

Burgh Baby said...

Y'all are ridiculously normal. I'm serious. You're, like, functional, and stuff. Emphasis on the FUN of course.

PorkStar said...

Evil mom hahahahaha wow

Joyce-Anne said...

These stories are very enjoyable. Keep sharing them, please.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oooooh, yeah! You are really, SO evil! BWAHAHA!

Karen said...

If she had actual coffee, that imaginary business might be a bit more successful.

Jaina said...

Lol...I heart the Roo girl. She's too cute. :)

Kaytabug said...

LMAO!!! I love you guys!!

 
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