Thursday, October 1, 2009

Just. one. more. thing.

I try to keep it light here at Casa de Planet.

You have laughed with me as my kids try to out-gross each other. You have smiled warmly as Roo-girl's maturity ebbs and flows and she demonstrates both her savvy and her blondness.

You have also cried with me and offered warmth and hugs and kindness as I sometimes reach deep into my soul and pull out a piece of my heart.

Today, however, I have reached a particular low.

Not because there is any particular issue. But because there are many.

One.

After.

Another.

And here in my private/public space, I have to say that I cannot take it anymore.

Possibly I have gone soft after six months of being away from the daily beatings of the newspaper world. Possibly my now-less-needed hard coating and defensive walls have chipped away, leaving a more exposed, more vulnerable me to things that would have rolled off a year ago.

In truth, I started to make a list of all the things that have been dropped in my lap in the past 24 hours, but as I wrote it down, it began to look ridiculous and stupid.

Ridiculous because some of the things really are nothing.

Stupid because even the big things look ridiculous in print.

The THINGS include new refrigerators that don't fit in the spot that Wonderhubby just painstakingly enlarged -- at great expense, time and personal aggravation.

My mother had a second surgery for breast cancer and -- ahem -- neglected to tell me.

The Roo-girl has "lost" her round-off back tuck. Z-man has lost his job. And I have lost my mind.

I also have had chest pains, and, therefore, a stress test is scheduled for Friday.

Stress? I think I'll pass.

22 comments:

Kaytabug said...

NONE of these THINGS are ridiculous and NONE of these things are nothing!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I'll be sending you all kinds of stress free vibes Friday!!
I hope that this is it!! No more crap to dump on your lap!

Suzanne said...

My dear, if you are scheduled for stress test, then it does. not. matter. if anyone else says they are trivial, they aren't.

Shall I bring that bottle of wine and some chocolate lava cakes? My plate is full of stress, too and it'd be good to sit down with someone else who is dealing with their own plate of stress.

Thinking good thoughts for that stress test, that Roo girl finds her tuck and Z man finds a better job...

songbird's crazy world said...

If you're going for a stress test...it does, indeed, matter. If Suzanne is baking, I'll bring some ice cream to go with that cake.

Tammy Howard said...

BREATHE!

Sending you good mellow thoughts...

Karen said...

I think tiny and ridiculous are about right. It's the tiny straw that finally broke the camel's back. Sometimes we think that we can only freak over big things, but it's the mountain of little things that breaks us.

ChrisB said...

It's always the little things that finally get to me. I'll be thinking about you on Fri. That's when I try to spend an hour in the local pool to de-stress.

Roger said...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things...

Here's to a stress free October! :)

Jenni said...

Na lost her round off back tuck the last year she did gymnastics. She did get it back, but sometimes it takes a lot of work (mostly mental) and encouragement. We bought Shannon Miller's book for Na, and it seemed to help. It is written from a Christian perspective (not sure which "brand"), but it is mostly very good advice for athletes (or anyone) about how to keep your head in the game, maintain focus, and overcome setbacks and fears.

I hope you can de-stress soon, Janet. Even the little things can add up, and some of these are not so small. Make sure you take care of yourself. That's vital in being able to face all life's problems head on and come out victorious, which I'm sure you will.

Kila said...

Too many bad things to juggle all at once. Us moms take it all on. Hope today and the next day are better.

nikki said...

Hey, your shoulders can only take so much weight. Stress is stress and it doesn't matter what causes it. I wish I lived closer. Will be sending you happy vibes.

Beckie said...

Stress adds up and does funny things to a person.

Take care of you.

LceeL said...

I have no sage advice - I wish I did. Just a HUG. A big, bear HUG.

And it's your turn.

red pen mama said...

Oh, I hear you. I'm in the same boat.

But as this is your space not mine, I will simply send hugs and good vibes (and maybe some red wine?) your way. Keep us up to date

ciao,
rpm

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Sometimes enough is enough!

Does not matter where it comes from or how trivial the irritant may seem to anyone else, if it stresses you, it MATTERS!

I feel every bit of your pain. Although I know it helps none... You are NOT alone!

Our youngest son was asked to move out in May. When he refused to work so he could not pay the rent he thought we would bring him back home. Wrong! We just started paying his rent.

Now, he's been handed an eviction notice - Perhaps he thought through breaking the rules he could come back home. Wrong!

We will put his things into storage and invite him to find a friend to bunk with until he gets his act together.

Making his life comfortable has done nothing for us yet... He needs to develop his own taste for comfort and figure out a way to find it.

I am FINALLY learning how to control my own environment and to TEACH people how to treat me to be in my life. Period.

Am I concerned for our son? Heck, yes! Is it stressful every time to think about where he might end up in 30 days or where he will be in two years? You bet! But allowing his stupidity/stubbornness to put me in the ground does not do any of us any good. It stopped this week. I'm done living everyone else's lives for them! Figure out your own problems! I have my own... For their part, it's amazing what the other members of my family can do when they're forced to do them WITHOUT me or my input!

So deep breaths... Put one foot in front of the other and eventually, better days will come. One thing is for sure, you have to be priority #1. And, now!

For now, taking care of myself and allowing my son to take charge of his own life is my priority.

You know I love you. Right?

Dina said...

When enough crap gets handed to you on a platter, it finally becomes so heavy that you can barely hold it up with both hands. You, my dear, have too much "crap" handed to you. I hope you are able to set it down, walk away, breathe. Eat that lava cake and ice cream, and I will hold positive thoughts for a good outcome for your future!

Pamela said...

Stress is winning this round dear.

Take some deep breaths and write down those things that will effect you 10 years from now.

Probably just the stress. Been there -- including an overnight hospital stay and the whole gammit.

Hugging and hanging with you!

Simply Jenn said...

Oh Janet, I am so sorry. I am having a particularly bad day also, although it was momentarily lightened when I was told by an attending physician that to take my mind off my grief I could come over to the clinic... and SEE PATIENTS. Bwaahaahahaha. Total patient panic attack. "Hi, I'm Jennifer. I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV."

I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry.

Daisy said...

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Take care of yourself: seriously. Back tuck or none, take care. Wait, that's Roo.

karisma said...

Baby! I hear you! As a mama of five I know exactly where you are coming from! There is only so much we share and then there is our heart! Much love, hugs and smoochies xxxxoxoxoxoxxo

Shelley said...

I hope you try to have a relaxing weekend. Stress can really wear you down. I go shopping and buy something more expensive than what I would normally spend on a particular item. It seems to always help me! Do something for yourself whatever it may be.

Rachael said...

Seems like these moments of overwhelm are all too common in the world this month! I hope that things get better, and that there are NO MORE 'one more thing's. (Hugs)

Joanna said...

Well dang! Seems like you've been stuck in survival mode for a long time. Too bad we can't hit the pause button on life. That sounds too close to fair and we all know life gets down right pissy when that happens.

 
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