Friday, November 13, 2009

Let he who is without sin cast the first (mile)stone

Gather 'round, my friends, for I have a tale to tell. Although some of the details you will have to figure out for yourself because it's ... um ... well ... PRIVATE.

The place: Our local grocery store.

The cast: The Evil Mother and the Roo-girl.

The reason: Oops. I can't tell you. You'll have to guess.

The Roo-girl scanned the shelves. So did the Evil Mother.

"Why are there so many??" the Roo-girl snarled. "How do you know what you need?"

The Evil Mother shrugged. "It depends. Let's just pick one."

"The sport kind, then," Roo answered. "Oh, and my friend said they make some *product deleted* for thongs."

"They make them for thongs??" said the Evil Mother, slightly horrified.

"Yes," answered the Roo-girl, still poking at the boxes.

And so they do. And there they were. Right there, albeit slightly hidden, on the top shelf.

Those things.

For thongs.

Because otherwise, how could a girl have that fresh feeling during ... well ... yeah ... then.

My little girl is a woman.

And now we BOTH need chocolate.


Ramit said...

They sure don't make them for thongs on my side of the world. :-)

karisma said...

Yes I cannot imagine wearing them with thongs! Now there is a science experiment! Hehe!

Karen said...

Maybe now the wild moodiness will be confined to once per month.

LceeL said...

La De Da De Da De Da *Looking the other way* Hmmmm? You said something? Oh! I'll be over here .. by the beer.

Jenni said...

Yes, for thongs. Yes, it sounds horrible. But, yes, they work. And really are not as horrible as imagined.

Kaytabug said...

I think that it s funny that you were shocked to see they make them for thongs!!!

Now there needs to be a celebration dinner for her entry into womanhood!!! (Anything for a dinner post!!!)

Tammy Howard said...

Nope, the thongs shock me, too. Seems like you could give 'em a break for a couple days - or, if you're really married to the idea of a thong, perhaps use a different sort of product. But I'm old, so what do I know?

justmylife said...

AAAHHHH, the joys of womanhood. And for thongs????!!!! Pass the chocolate.

songbird's crazy world said...

LOL, yes, for thongs. My daugthers, age 17 and 19, still prefer that mom go to the drugstore to buy those things....they are too embarassed to do it themselves unless they have to.

J2 said...

How bitter sweet this must feel for you...

I remember the experience FAR too well and I'm afraid it wasn't good or made any better by my mom - so BRAVO, YOU for being so supportive of sweet Roo.

Once upon a time, we were in Spain for the summer when it happened to me. Our family was at the Hippo Mart (no, really...) in Barcelona, and I was in a dressing room to try on a fabulous new bikini when I noticed blood in my panties. I FREAKED OUT and thought I was dying! Why? Because I was a sheltered Catholic girl whose mother never dared speak of such, "dirty" things and who would not allow me to socialize with, "those" girls who might have clued me in.

After it was revealed by me to my mother she quickly dragged me to, "that" area of the Hippo Mart, whispering to my father the whole way. The product she pulled off the shelf for me went into the basket and was promptly covered/draped with the new beach towel my brother had picked out.

Back at the hotel, my mother didn't explain anything about what was going on, she just demanded I put the mattress-sized pillow into my underwear, "until it stops."

The next morning, while my brother and friends played in the waves, I was stuck sitting in the sand on the hot beach, mortified.

At one point, I overheard my dad say to my mom, "Isn't there something else you could give her to use?" And, I heard my mother reply, "Only whores use those."

See? Told you it was, PAINFUL!!!

And now they make them for... Thongs! Wow!

Roger said...

Things for me to look forward to. For thongs??? Really. Reason #5, just so you know. :)

Beckie said...

Thongs, really? I had no idea. I must broaden my horizons the next time I browse the shelves.

nikki said...

Yeah, I'm with the one who said give thongs a break for a few days. Thongs don't have the easiest life ya know. I'm sure they'd be happy to miss out on this experience.

(sniff....your baby!)

Indigo said...

For thongs? I have to say during that time...I would rather comfort, than worry about what I'm wearing. (Hugs)Indigo

red pen mama said...

oh dear.

In my younger days, I used them for thongs.

And to echo roo: why DO they have so many?

Can you somehow, someway post about how you talked about this with your daughter? I'll have to do it times 2.

I'll give my email address if you want. I'll need the talk in about ... oh, dear, only 8 or so years?


Daisy said...

"In my day" thongs were flipflops! Let's not even imagine, ahem, things for those thongs.

melissa said...

thong pads?
ew. said...

Aaaaww, shit.
HOWEVER, in the spirit of making you feel better, I will say this: My older daughter was 11 1/2 when she started.
Feel better now?

somethingone said...

I will never freakin' understand why someone would wear thongs during that point of the month. I mean, they're inexplicable on the average day, but then?

I suggest a DivaCup.

Huckdoll said...

Womanhood !Woot! A whole new world. Or in my case, I thought the world was ending and my mom told stories of back in the day when they had to walk barefoot, uphill in snow and wear "things" with belts, then proceeded to hand me a 2 inch thick "thing". Oy. I say thank God for so many choices! (except the thongs ones ... can't get onside with that)

Jaina said...

Congrats and apologies both. I've never understood the thong ones. But then again, I've never really understood thongs.

Pamela said...

the whole thong business just makes me squirm. How can they be comfortable? Then add that nameless to it. no way.

What? Like extra wide Glide.

All Rights Reserved. Planet of Janet, 2010.