Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Birthday dinner: the mama-san edition

You knew it had to happen.

It was my birthday, after all. So did you expect anything less than birthday dinner chez Planet?

J-bear was absent (a dirt-biking accident delayed her arrival until after), as was Fabulous Girlfriend, but the rest of the bunch were in rare form.

Evil Mother: You know what would be really funny? If Roo went to Starbucks and gave her name as "Mary Kate" ... and then watch what happens.

*You must admit there is a certain resemblance to the Olsen girls. People tell her this all. the. time.*

The Roo-girl: Bwahahahaha! Yeah, that would be cool.

Z-man and Drama King: *joining in the laughter*

Rocky: Really?

Evil Mother: Yes, but she looks like what they would have looked like if they weren't all coked up and stuff.

Rocky: I must admit I don't really know what they look like.

Evil Mother: *grabbing her iPhone and Googling for an appropriate Olsen girls photo* Like this ...

Rocky: Ohhh, yeah, I can see it.

Drummer Man: *leaning over to look at what Rocky is looking at* Oh, is that a photo of Roo-girl?

Everyone else: *hysterical laughter*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A trip down memory lane of things the kids used to watch, sing or play led to this exchange about the original "Peter Pan" with Mary Martin. (It's available on Youtube in multiple parts. Look it up. It's a classic.)

Evil Mother: Remember when you guys saw it? It was rereleased on TV, and I brought a review copy home. The TV critic reviewed it, and I wrote a story about how my boys watched it and -- even in the age of "Star Wars" and special effects -- they still loved it.

Drama King: I remember that. You could see the strings when they flew.

Evil Mother: That didn't stop you from clapping your hands and saying, "I believe in fairies!"

*pregnant pause*
Drama King: *patting Rocky on the head* I DO believe in fairies. And here he is!!!

Evil Mother: Snort.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Drama King: *stands up to leave the table*

Evil Mother: Where ya goin', huh? Huh? Huh??

Drama King: To pee. You want to come with me?

Evil Mother: Ah, no thanks.

The Roo-girl: You've seen it before.

Evil Mother: It's been a long, long time, and I'm ok with not seeing it again.

The Roo-girl: *snicker*

Evil Mother: *continuing our trip down memory lane* He potty-trained really easily cuz he watched his big brother and wanted to be like him.

Drummer Man: Yeah, I remember we used to cross streams.

Evil Mother: You did WHAT? Never mind. I don't want to know.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And for our last trick, we have Drama King's parting words to Drummer Man as he reached out and pinched his brother on the chest.

Drama King: BOOBIES!!!!!!

Evil Mother: Please tell me you didn't just do that.

Rocky: Oh yeah, it's what he does. Trust me.

The Roo-girl: What? Why?

Evil Mother: Just as long as he doesn't do it to YOU.

The Roo-girl: Uh ... yeah.

*The end*


Ramit said...

Cross streams? Ewwwww! Boobies? Yeah, thank God!

Karen said...

I knew Roo looked familiar. Sometimes it takes someone pointing out the obvious. She should totally do it.

Kaytabug said...


I have always thought that she looked like those twins(but better) but never wanted to say anything!!!
She should totally do that. I want video of it though!

I bet they just crossed 'em to see if anything bad would happen. Ghostbusters!

At least he just yelled boobies and not "Tune in Tokyo"

LceeL said...

Crossed streams? We used to call that 'sword fighting'. given that I'm an only son, i will say no more.

Tara R. said...

You all are hilarious!

Burgh Baby said...

"Crossed streams?" I am suddenly traumatized by potty training incidents from decades ago. *shudder*

Roger said...

Oh yeah boys, especially if they are close in age, will definitely partake in "cross-streaming." Hey, you only have so much time to get into the car you know.

Roo should definitely use the name Mary-Kate whenever ordering, she might even get a "freebie."

Pamela said...

yes she does look like the twins.
I covered my ears and hummed during the nipple flicking.

Anonymous said...
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Janet said...

Ah, birthdays on the Planet. They never disappoint.

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