Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Things that make me totally *snort* ...

J-bear challenged me to Words With Friends. Anyone who has ever played WWF, Scrabble or Lexulous with me knows that I am cutthroat ... and I have an infinitely bigger vocabulary than the poor, unsuspecting J-bear. I pity the fool -- but more power to her for having the chutzpah to do it.

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Girl Scout cookies are haunting me.

I was totally jonesing for Thin Mints and Tagalongs when a former co-worker messaged me and several others that he had discovered a case of cookies that we had ordered -- but not received.

From last year!!!

(Delivery was complicated by layoffs and office moves, but whatever.)

Anyway, the cookies have been IN A CLOSET for the past 12 months, but he did offer to deliver this treasure trove to any of us who desired.

Um, no thanks. Consider it a donation to your two daughters' Girl Scout troop.

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My mother used the word "voluptuous" when looking at a picture of my daughter.

I threw up a little in my mouth.

And then I googled chastity belts.


Jenni said...

Fellow readers, Janet totally stomped my ass in Lexulous.

Those cookies would probably be okay. I'm sure they're loaded with plenty of preservatives.

Heh, my girls have this war going. They fight over who has the bigger butt. The oldest inherited the genes for big boobs from dh's side of the family and had to buy new bras over Christmas because she was ready to move up to the next letter (two letters above my own), so there is no contest there...yet. The younger has a fuller butt where the older has the skinny butt white girls usually want. But it has become a competition to see who has the most "bootylicious" butt. They take pictures with their phones and compare every time they're together. They boast to each other of their attributes. It's a bizarre thing for a parent to watch. I'm afraid that someday I'm going to open Facebook and see a butt and some cleavage as their profile pics. They aren't really vain or fixed on their looks, but they seem to really enjoy this strange competition. Maybe I just don't understand because I never had a sister.

Tara R. said...

When my daughter was younger I was her GS leader. At any one time I had thousands of boxes of cookies, yes that's four figures, in my garage. I am a sucker for Thin Mints.

songbird's crazy world said...

I can relate to the chastity belt....if my ex had his way we would lock both girls int ehir room until they're 30....

Kaytabug said...

LOL! Your mom made you toss your cookies!! LOL!

There is a reason I don't play games with you.

My hubby bought a case of Thin Mints a week ago. It's a shame I'm here and he's over there. I HAVE to find me some cookies!!!!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Those damn chastity belts are expensive! Shit!
I think it's cheaper to hire a body guard. A EUNUCH.

LceeL said...

I have played Lexulous with you - and I feel like a Sabine Woman.

Karen said...

Please tell me the Girl Scout Lady had a bit of remorse about the cookies at least. Even an "I'm sorry, do you even want them?"

Suzanne said...

I love getting trounced by you in Lexulous, because it beats playing anyone else with their 3 letter words through the whole game!

We have some boxes of thin mints from last year here, but they've been in the freezer the whole time. Life in Florida requires storing $4.00 boxes of goodness in that manner.

"Voluptuous" and similar terms should NEVER be used when describing your offspring to you!

Roger said...

I can attest that Girl Scout cookies are still good after more than a year on a shelf.

That is all. :-)

Debbie said...

Thanks Granny! I hate it when my parents say things like that. Why can't we wash their mouths out with soap?

Momisodes said...

I would have totally ate them.

Pamela said...

oh just stuff grandmas mouth with stale cookies will ya! :)

Huckdoll said...

I always love the mom stories your reaction. She sounds a little like my gramma with the voluptuous comment and yea, barf.

gg said...





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