Thursday, April 1, 2010

Panic in the eats

I am not a sandwich girl. I stopped being capable of packing a lunch for myself after years of packing meals for preschoolers and grade-schoolers.

I admit that this is not logical or reasonable. Nor is it economical since I prefer to buy my lunch on a daily basis.

Fortunately, our work cafeteria is a wonderland of choices (the pasta guy and I are likethis) and the prices are reasonable because I. just. can't. pack. a. lunch.

Except during Passover.

If you've been around these parts for very long, you know what Passover means.

It means that my food options more restricted. Nothing leavened. Nothing that could contribute to possible leavening.

It also means that my colon is slowly turning to concrete as I partake of the annual binding food of my people.

And ... it means that my workday eating habits go slightly wacky because I don't eat out during the eight-day holiday.


On a normal work day, I start with Starbucks -- either a chai or (if I'm feeling very fancy) a dark cherry mocha latte -- but no food.

My hunger alarm goes off between 11 and 11:30, and I toddle down to the caff for a bite. Pasta. Or sushi. Or custom pizza. Or sometimes a salad.

A drink.

And possibly something for an afternoon snack: chips, a granola bar, a cookie ... something to make the long afternoon seem a little shorter.

Not really a dramatic amount of food for a day.

Except during Passover.

God help me, because I know that I am restricted from eating most everything in a cafeteria, I make the ultimate sacrifice by making my lunch.

Here's where it gets a little sticky.

Because what if I get hungry during the day and I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOOD IN MY BAG????

There is nothing rational about this. I'm perfectly capable of getting through the day without a constant flow of food to my mouth.

But I panic -- and thus, this daily bag o' food could possibly feed a third-world country for a week.

My standard matzah and melted cheese, a bag of pecans, a yogurt, a bag of dried apricots (see issues of concrete colons), leftover matzah brei from the kids' breakfast ... and maybe a kosher-for-Passover chocolate-covered marshmallow (or four).


That's ridiculous.

And yet, I pack a variation on that theme -- and eat it! -- every. single. day.

For the eight days of Passover.

I'm crazy.

But I don't go hungry!


LceeL said...

Well thank God chocolate is kosher.

songbird's crazy world said...

I feel your pain, Janet. there are matza crumbs all over my keyboard right now. I also pack enough food for an army.

my kids, however...having spent half of their Passovers with their (nonobservant) father, feel free to chow down on bagels the day after the seder...

Burgh Baby said...

Considering that I'm very likely to make chocolate-covered marshmallows my entire diet on occasion, I think you're doing pretty good. At least you're balanced while you're clogged. ;-)

5 Kids With Disabilities said...

Love this!!! I don't have to eat Kosher, but I pack the same type of lunch bag....enough food to feed the whole office, but I worry about going hungry!!!!
Lindsey Petersen

Suzanne said...

That IS a lot of food for one Janet. I wonder how much of that original lunch will make it back to work each day?
(and I am craving an onion matzoh and peanut butter sandwich, but not enough to go buy a box of matzoh) said...

Salad! I'm pretty sure salad is kosher. Of course you would need to sprinkle little chocolate covered marshmallows all over it cause, well, you just WOULD. I mean it would be crying out for it and NEED it and all.
But think how superior you would feel eating it telling yourself, "It's healthy!". ;-)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Yeah...I'd say you won't go hungry! That is some list! :-)

Janet said...

A Jewish friend of mine from college has just introduced me to kosher Coca Cola. I may have to convert. I don't care for sandwiches either, and I have gone for 8 or more days without bread of any kind. But as soon as you told me I COULDN"T, well, that would be the end.

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