Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Berry-ations on a theme

Wonderhubby doesn't like strawberries.

He doesn't like peaches either.

Or bananas.

Or blueberries.

Or any other kind of berry, for that matter.

Or apricots, nectarines or plums.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Some of it is a texture issue (bananas) or a seeded outside problem (strawberries) or just the flavor (peaches), but when we first started dating, I was flabbergasted.

I had never met anyone who just. didn't. like. fruit.

Oh, apples are good. And oranges. And pineapple.

But come at him with anything more adventurous than pears and you are guaranteed "the face."

You know the face. The scrunched-up EWWWWWWWWWW face. (Why, yes, he IS my sixth child, why do you ask?)

On one of our first dates, he took me to Baskin-Robbins for ice cream. It was December or January, and my fave-rave seasonal flavor was available: Winter White Chocolate. I was happily eating my cone and offered him a bite.

You would have thought that I had poisoned him.

"UGH," he gagged. "FRUIT!"

Uh, yeah. Fruit. Sorry, dude. Who knew?

One night I cooked dinner at his place. I brought everything with me. Salmon. Asparagus. Potatoes. And the fixings for chocolate fondue.

As it turned out, we never got around to the fondue, but when I mentioned what I had brought, he asked uncertainly, "What were you going to dip into the chocolate?"

"Strawberries," I said (duh!), "and bananas and marshmallows and ..."

"You KNOW I don't like that stuff, right?"

Uh, apparently not.


Fast forward a few years of wedded bliss.

He has learned to live with blueberries. The blender of looooooooooove has expanded his palate.

Which brings us to a case of yogurt recently purchased at Costco. Twenty-four little cups of yogurt: vanilla, blueberry and strawberry, stored on the bottom shelf of the garage fridge.

Every morning I would walk into the garage and find the carton gradually emptying.

And an ever-increasing line of strawberry yogurts on an upper refrigerator shelf.

Yes, Wonderhubby had picked out all the vanilla and blueberry cartons and left me the strawberries.

Which is fine. I LIKE strawberry yogurt.

But I also like vanilla and blueberry -- and a little variety in my world.

When I confronted the little devil with his misdeeds, he laughed.

"I'm looking out for your health," he said. "Antioxidants and all."

Nice try, dude. The antioxidants are in the BLUEBERRIES, too.

Sheesh.

6 comments:

Indigo said...

Paul's a junkfood kid. He can eat whatever he wants and he doesn't gain weight (I hate him for that).

Me? I go the healthy route every single time, no coke, fruit, and whatever else I'm in the mood for that's good for me. Case in point I WON'T eat his junkfood.

Yet, a few days after I've brought groceries his junk is still unopened and he's ate my stash. No problem with him eating healthy. Problem is he eats all mine than goes back and eats all his junkfood.

Yeah, a kid. A very inconsiderate kid. (Hugs)Indigo

Burgh Baby said...

Are you sure he's human? I mean, fruit? How the hell can a human not love fruit? ::baffled::

Simply Jenn said...

You tell that Mr Wonderhubby that there are actually WAY more antioxidants in blueberries than in strawberries and he is robbing you of them.

For reals.

LceeL said...

You mean to tell me that he's never enjoyed strawberry shortcake with whipped cream (and yes, boys and girls, there ARE other uses for whipped cream)?

Oh my. Freshly washed and de-crowned Strawberries, sitting in a bowl in the fridge for a couple of days after having been covered by a layer of sugar, and fresh short cake and real whipped cream ... yummy.

Karen said...

We'd get along well, WH and I. I like apples, pineapple and the berry family. Anything else is just plain gross. I have recently discovered the joys of grapes, but they're kinda berry-ish.

Fruit is nasty. The slimy, wet, sticky, mushy texture is just wrong.

HalfAsstic.com said...

There is just no accounting for a man's taste buds. John won't eat avocados. Now what kind of messican won't eat avocados?

 
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