Monday, July 26, 2010

The new nasties, part two

My daughter is freakin' awesome.

I just wanted to say that out loud for everyone to hear.

Last week, I mentioned the mean-girl issue we are having.

It hasn't gone away, but the cheer coaches have addressed the issue of hazing and harrassment through Facebook and Formspring in a generic manner, telling the girls in no uncertain terms that this kind of behavior will lead to suspension from the team.

Funny thing, after that, the mean girl in question made an overture of "peace." Not reconciliation, but an expression of an attempt at civility -- at least in public.

Roo accepted that.

On the surface.

But the relationship between these two girls has been irreparably broken. Both Roo and I know that this has not been resolved but has merely been hidden away from more public view.

Roo no longer posts to certain social media. I watch her friends' pages regularly for things that I need to know -- and things that need to be reported. She tells me if she has had anonymous postings of the nasty kind.

She and I are a united front against bullying and harassment.

But here is where we differ.

I know that if this were me -- if I were the one in Roo's shoes -- I would be whimpering in a corner in the fetal position.

Not my kid.

She gets up and goes to summer school and cheer practice every day with her head held high.

"I just ignore them," she told me the other day. "What else am I going to do?"

You go, girl. You be yourself -- the awesome, amazing, adorable, fan-freaking-tastic Roo-girl.

Meanwhile, the raging Mama Bear within me stays on guard -- and is gratified by the one piece of the karma wheel that I can control:

You do NOT want to mess with the daughter of the official cheer team photographer.

Hey, I said SHE was awesome. I didn't say I was.

Crossposted at Mid-Century Modern Moms


Tara R. said...

Roo - you go girl! and Janet - you too. At the heart of it all bullies are insecure and jealous of their intended victims. Roo doesn't sound like she will be easy to victimize.

LceeL said...

Yay Roo!! And as for you - if your daughter is willing and able to show you the High Road, why on earth would you, our favorite Mama Bear, even THINK about doing anything differently?

I mean, just because you have the power to portray the 'Nasty Girl' picking her nose, or scratching stuff she shouldn't be scratching in public, doesn't mean you SHOULD, right? I mean, you wouldn't do that, now would you? Mama Bear? I know it's tempting - and if it was me I'd probably tell me to shut up and go scratch myself - but you're bigger than that, right?

(They need to invent a sarcasm font, you know?)

Roger said...

Roo, you will come out the 'winner' in all of this. Keep your head on straight and ignore the silliness coming from that corner.

You know what else drives bullies nuts? Killing them with kindness. Stay strong, and enjoy life. :-)

Indigo said...

Roo reminds me a lot of me at that age. Then of course I had no choice. At 16 I was alone in the world already having left home and juggling school and work.

I did however encounter several mean girls. For some reason my hearing disability annoyed, threatened their very beings. In any case, she's right. What else are you going to do, but ignore them.

There will always, always, be mean spirited people in her life. She's learned early on not to give them the satisfaction of the upper hand.

I'm going to play martyr here and say against other expressed views - You go Janet! They deserve a hard earned lesson. (Hugs)Indigo

Pamela said...

there must be something about Roo that the other girl wants to ruin -- because she can't be that way herself.

The Captain's Daughter said...

Roo is ah-mazing. Just like her mother. If I were that mean-girl, I'd be extra careful not to tick-off the team photog... After all, yearbooks last FOREVER!

carsick said...

Your daughter is doing the right thing. I think that the cheer coaches should have done more than that. Zero bully starts when its happened. Not when they find out and give everyone another chance. NO BULLIES. Period. That girl is just biding her time and if it;s not Roo it will be someone else.
I feel your pain, I would want to mangle this kid. I wouldn't but I would like to.

Rachael said...

Your daughter rocks. You rock for making her so she rocks.

Janet said...

Roo is awesome!!!
And you know, it's almost impossible to get a large group picture where EVERYONE looks good. And just because all the other pictures in which TMG looked good just HAPPENED to get deleted oh-so-accidentally-and-unfortunately from the camera, well, that's just the way it goes sometimes, right?

I agree though, I think the coaches were a bit lenient and perhaps immediate dismissal would have been OK, then again, it helps to keep these girls where someone can keep an eye on them. It's a tough call.

Joanna said...

Is it wrong that I want you to go all freaky on said mean girl showing all why your handle is evil mother? Just me?? Well hell, let her have it and I will bow in your presence. :)
You go Roo! said...

BWAHAHA! I have been away too long! I see some unflattering ass shots in your future! Or someone's! ;-)

MJ said...

Hell's to the YES!!! You go, BOTH of you!

Teena in Toronto said...

You go, Girl!

Happy blogoversary :)

Laura said...

She is awesome! LOVE that she is strong and keeping her head up...moving along.

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