Monday, July 19, 2010

The new nasties

Back when I was a teen, girls were mean.

When someone wanted to hurt someone else, it was easy. Just start a whisper campaign. Rumors and gossip spread like wildfire, but they would just as quickly die down when another juicy rumor surfaced.

Today girls are still mean, but they have so many more resources at their disposal.

There is texting. There is Facebook.

And then there is Formspring, a forum for people to ask "questions" of -- or make comments about -- others.

The Roo-girl once joined a Facebook group that was called something like "Formspring: causing teen suicides since 2009." (I looked for it to get the exact title, but it seems to have gone away.)

Formspring makes the whisper campaigns look like rainbows and unicorns.

We are currently in the midst of some drama in our house. The specifics are unimportant, but the outcome is a Formspring vendetta (with a little Facebook thrown in for good measure) that is so intensely cruel and malicious that it makes my head spin -- and my little girl cry.

We have a new philosophy about the particular mean girl in question: Walk away and pay it no mind because the girl is only as powerful as you allow her to be.

So Roo pushes on, while petulant little girls write trash and pump it into cyberspace, where it travels far and wide. And forever.

She hurts.

And I? I want to hurt someone.

Crossposted at Mid-Century Modern Moms.


Hedy said...

Oh, ew. Roo-if you're reading this please know this will pass.

Indigo said...

Mean girls have pathetically empty lives and need to menace others in an attempt to bring them the same misery. Tell Roo I've seen what some of these girls become as adults. They continue to have no fulfillment and usually end up with guys that dish out their own kind of venom on them.

Right now they have an audience, when they get older people tend to cut them out of their lives and move on. These girls become women who are scorned, neglected, and lonely. Make no mistake life DOES catch up and exact it's revenge.

As you said, they are nothing short of the attention they garner. I know it doesn't help now and as a teenager it hurts like the blue blazes.(Hugs)Indigo

Indigo said...
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LceeL said...

I would wish a visit by 10,000 fleas on the author of that viscousness - but then the fleas would probably die from feasting on such nastiness.

Roo, I hope you understand that this comes from her knowledge that she can't compete with you - that you are SO much better than she is - and this is the only way she can deal with it. All she has done is demonstrate that she doesn't have a clue.

Roger said...

Roo, as Eleanor Roosevelt said; "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Truer words were never spoken. Don't give her consent to be a bitch to you, continue being the bigger person and it will take care of itself, I promise.

If not, I know a guy... :-)

Suzanne said...

Roo, I was the kid they picked on all. through. school. College was my escape, a place to start fresh.

Thanks to Facebook, I found out some of what motivated them to be so mean-the fact that I was a smart kid without doing the homework or cracking a textbook. (I suspect the freckles had something to do with it.)

Bottom line, this girl is jealous of something you have that she wants, whether it's a cute guy's attention, a spot on the squad, blond hair, a cute smile or a cool mom. As you've been hearing from mom, ignore her and it will stop.

I've been there, too. It sucks, but it will stop.

Daisy said...

Bullies are powerful. It's a terrible thing to admit, but they do have power. Walk away, yes, but be aware that the mean girl may get meaner if she is seeking results. It may take more direct action (parent to parent, police if threats are involved) to make it stop.

Roo, stay strong. You have the strength of a loving family on your side. Those who attack are NOT friends.

Pamela said...

I remember how I felt when my girls were the object of same. except of course there was no texting and fb back then.

I will pray for roo!

The Captain's Daughter said...

I know JUST how you feel!

Tell Roo to hold her head high... And to remember, Karma (for them) is a b*tch!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Formspring is pure evil.

And is basically asking for people to be mean because they are anonymous.

Hate it.

Tell Roo-Girl that 90% of mean girls grow up to be bitter angry adults with no true joy in their lives.

The Laundress said...


I was subjected to mean girls too in high school. I'm sorry Roo.

My mother always told me to "get them on the ground, they're all the same size when you have 'em on the ground!"

She was one tough cookie. It only promoted more assholiness, but at least they left me alone after that.

I wish this wasn't happening.

carsick said...

Just reading this made me want to puke. We home schooled for quite awhile and now I have a daughter going in 7th grade. I can NOT believe how mean these girls are. Even meaner than when I was in school which I didn't think was possible.
I know how Roo's feeling it's a bad one. To this day I have almost nothing to do with anyone that I went to highschool with. Mean girls suck. Just remember your not the only one and take that chance and reach out to someone else that this has been done to.

Burfica said...

I was verbally bullied all through school. Sucked. I'm so sorry she's going through crap.

Oh, yeah I'm back. hahahaha been over a year, but here I am.

I went to my 20th class reunion (even at my 10th) and all the"mean" people that tormented me, well they were all so unhappy and their lives just didn't progress. It was wonderful to see. hehehehe considering I am very happy in my life. You can always beat them in the end.

Rachael said...

Ugh. Why are people so mean? This is the part where there is a benefit to not being very popular/involved in school stuff in high school. No one cares enough to be that cruel.

I really hope things get better for Roo.

Janet said...

A couple of people have said this but I'll say it again anyway, you know how I am.

I spent 5-12th grade getting tormented in some form or other. For being smart, or tall, or wearing glasses, or all of the above. Being a cheerleader didn't really stop it.
I just went to my 30th high school reunion. Someone above mentioned this - those people who teased me? In the ensuing 30 years, nothing has been as good for them as high school was. Karma is indeed a bitch, and she is real, and she kicks butt and takes names. It may take awhile for her to get back around to the mean girls, but she always does.
And Formspring is evil and should be removed from the internet.
Roo, my sweet, you are awesome and beautiful, and the mean girls are not worth your time and energy. But you already know that. And I know it hurts, but it won't always.

All Rights Reserved. Planet of Janet, 2010.