Friday, October 8, 2010

He did what??? Where????

There's something about childbirth that forces a woman to forgo all sense of modesty.

After all, there's usually a room full of people all focused on a part of your anatomy that normally isn't on display.

In my case, with the Drama King, there were people with their HANDS in places that they had no business being -- trying to help a 9 pound 2 1/2 ounce baby who wasn't planning on getting out the way he got in.

When the Roo-girl was born, my pediatrician was in the room. He was quite a bit younger than me (a whippersnapper barely out of residency when Drummer and DK were little and we joined his practice), and it never even occurred to me that he had a view of my nether regions that he NEVER would have seen otherwise. I mean, seriously!

But you don't think too much about it. You're having a baby, after all, and that's where babies come from.

So no biggie.

Many many years later, when degeneratively arthritic vertebrae cause pain that isn't restricted to just the back, and one of the answers is physical therapy ...

And you find yourself face-down on a table with your pants pulled down below the crack and a male massage therapist with his hands on your butt ...

Well, the indignity of it all is astounding.

Just sayin'.

7 comments:

Roger said...

Maybe you should bring candles, cocktails and mood music next time. At least you'll forget about the whole indignity part.

Maybe. :)

Hope it works.

LceeL said...

Given that the massage you describe so succinctly is Annie's FAVORITE massage of all (I mean she really loves it when I "rub her butt") I'm assuming you actually enjoy the experience.

Just don't break wind. That could be ... unsettling.

Oh. I AM sorry to learn you are having back troubles. I know those are truly miserable to deal with.

karisma said...

OMG! Why do I always get such vivid pictures in my mind when you speak? LMAO you are too too funny!

Burgh Baby said...

Maybe you'll have to go on a no pooping spree. I think it's the desperation of wanting that baby out that makes childbirth less traumatizing, so maybe if you really can't wait to get a poop out you'll be better off?

;-)

Aoj and The Hounds said...

Indignity!? Sounds like fun to me!

Jenni said...

It didn't matter how strong the contractions were or how hard the labor was, it's something I had to work not to think about. I'm so glad there was no film in the camera that time that Danny thought we should have his mom take pictures of the home birth. Yikes.

And what is with videos? I mean, I know some people do tasteful videos and photos focused on the mother's face as she reaches for her newborn baby, but I've seen some birth photos and videos I wish I hadn't. (Please give me any tips you have for gracefully saying "no" when someone wants to show you these things!)

There is a reason my yearly exams are not so yearly, as well. I almost can't stand the indignity of wearing one of those little hospital gowns for the chiropractor. I came up with a great idea. I wear yoga pants for adjustments and my bra stays on, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I know I have issues.

I hope your back problems get straightened out quickly!

Pamela said...

my ex gynocologist walks his dog where I walk. I always wonder if he would recognize me if....
....
...
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

 
All Rights Reserved. Planet of Janet, 2010.