Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Scorpio, oh Scorpio, wherefore art thou, Scorpio?

*Ring ring*

"Hello?"

"Couldn't you have waited 13 more days to give birth?"

Um, what?

Yeah, that was the way the Drama King said hello to me the other day.

It seems that the uproar over "what's your astrological sign NOW?" has cut poor DK to the core. The young man has been a Scorpio since the day he was born (Nov. 10, 1983, for anyone who's counting). He is quite proud of his Scorpiosity. In fact, when he was 18, he went so far as to have a lovely *cough cough* scorpion tattoo permanently affixed to his upper arm/shoulder.

Now, with all the talk of the switch in the stars and signs and stuff, he is grumpily perplexed.
"I guess I have to start thinking about tattoo removal," he humphed.

While this would not be the worst thing he has ever had to do, in my opinion, I was still trying to maintain a straight face as he bemoaned his now-Libra fate.

"NO NO NO," he wept. "I am SO not a Libra. So really, couldn't you have held off for 13 more days?"

I really really REALLY tried not to laugh as I answered.

"No, dear. That arrival time was more determined by YOU than me. And besides, you were already 9 pounds 2 1/2 ounces. Can you imagine how big you would have been two weeks later?????"

Yeah, honestly, it was bad enough as it was, with that huge watermelon head and all. *Shudder* Let's not talk about this anymore, k?

He did find it hilarious that under these new guidelines, my Dec. 9 birthday now would move from the more traditional Sagittarius to some weird serpent thing with an unpronounceable name.

"Occi what? Ophi who? What the heck IS that thing?" I asked him. "To me it sounds like Doc Ock
 -- and that's NOT a good thing!"

"Ophiuchus," DK patiently explained, "is a serpeant-bearer -- like a man grabbing a snake."

*cue the hysterical laughter of a 12-year-old boy masquerading as his mother*

"Uh ... I'm thinking that would be a better sign for YOU."

He was not amused.

10 comments:

Roger said...

Oh my, some people really do take these things seriously, don't they. ;)

Ophiuchus? Never heard of him, but you did make me giggle with that line. :D

Molly said...

Oh dear, a tattoo, what is a poor ex-Scorpio to do?

Suzanne said...

You sure to find the humor in everything, though I think I'd have a hard time describing my sign in mixed company if I were you!

Mom on the Verge said...

Oh dear. My husband is now an... whatever that was. I wonder if he'll be less compulsive now. Do let us know how you plan to behave, now that you've moved.

Tara R. said...

According to the new calendar I will go from Libra to Virgo. I've also read that this change only applies to people born after 2009. No matter to me. I was born a Libra, I will always be a Libra.

Burgh Baby said...

I am completely baffled by the desire to have an astrological sign tattooed to your body. BAFFLED. Poor guy!

songbird's crazy world said...

My daughter Jen -- born 11/7/1990 -- is SOOO Scorpio it's ridiculous.

I'm February 18. I always thought I was on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. Now I learn I am pure Aquarius...

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

heh, I always said that Pisces didn't suit me.

I hate the ocean.

So what am I now? I have been living under a rock lately so I am thinking one of those rock dwelling signs then...

And tell him to sick a watermelon up his butt and see if he can hold it in for ONLY 13 days ;)

Pamela said...

Oh my -- you two just make my eyes roll.

As for the signs...
I don't take it seriously -- but I did squinch my nose when I found out I wasn't a Libra anymore.

Flopy8 said...

:O
I like your blog :)

 
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